Marilyn Manson

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“ mean he is a MAN?!?!?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Marilyn Manson

“This is perhaps the most KICKASS group ever promoted by a mainstream record company”

~ Sen. Joe Lieberman on Marilyn Manson
Seriously, who could ever think this guy was wierd?

The God Of Fuck (AKA Marilyn Manson; January 666, 0) is an American musician, artist, enemy of the Church, role model and reject, best known for his controversial stage persona and image as the lead singer of the band The Spooky Kids. His stage name was formed from the names of actress/model Charles Manson and mass-murderer Marilyn Monroe. At least, that's what his parents say. Despite what the media tells you, he actually isn’t the friendly, caring person he’s made out to be. He’s actually quite scary.

Early Life[edit]

As a young goblin, Manson often wondered why his parents decided to name him after a serial killer. They could have named him something like Brian Hugh Warner, but nah. He also wondered why he had horns, a satanic tatoo, and eyes that were two different colors, yet was enrolled in a Christian school. Needless to say, he didn’t have it easy at the Jesus School For People Who Won’t Grow Up To Be Antichrist Superstars, especially after it was revealed that he actually did want to be an Antichrist Superstar. His parents wanted him to be a minister. There’s a reason he killed them. On one of his many religious trips to secluded areas with the priests, he met Madonna Wayne Gacy and Daisy Berkowitz, two other unfortunate boys with feminine names. It was at that moment that he formed a band with the sole purpose of not spreading lies. For this reason, they were all excommunicated from the Church.


It wasn’t long before Marilyn Manson and his band, The Spooky Kids, started pissing people off. They pissed off the church, Joe Lieberman, God, parents, kids, monkeys, and fan clubs like the Mormons. Basically all of the people necessary to make them legendary among the few remaining people who thought for themselves. They started performing in night clubs in 1989, and quickly became a popular act all over North America.


Marilyn Manson grew up listening to Elvis,Little Wayne, The Beatles, Slim Whitman, The Wiggles and Robert Goulet. He hated each of them, deciding instead to create a style unlike anything cherished by earlier generations. He created this style by sticking his penis in a fendered guitar, and fucking the living daylights out of it. He packaged the result as Portrait Of An American Family because he actually painted pictures in much the same way as he played guitar. After American Family was banned by the Church, Manson knew he was doing well. The follow up album was Antichrist Superstar, an obvious jab at either God or Andrew Lloyd Webber. This album was not only banned by the Church, but also targeted by the Republican Party as the album responsible for the world’s violence. Manson became an icon shortly after the album’s release, and felt a sense of accomplishment that he’d pissed off both of the Evil Organizations of the modern world. Over the next decade, Manson released even bigger hits, among them, Holy Wood, about how his school’s priests would teach their classes in secluded areas. Manson’s music career was flourishing, but he soon required a change of scene.

Film And Television[edit]

In 2005, Manson randomly decided to quit music in favor of a future filmmaking career. And by filmmaking, Manson meant more music. He released Eat Me, Drink Me in 2007, and The High End Of Low in 2009, both considered films, except they’re so ahead of their time, they don’t have video, only sound. Manson won Best Cinematography in 2008, and was nominated for Best Director in 2009, but some whore won for some movie that sucked instead. While working on his films, Manson has also acted. Remember the movie Willie Wonka And The Chocolate-Factory? Well, he wasn’t in that, but he was in David Lynch’s Lost Highway. Yeah, he was in that. He also went far out of character to play in a movie about transvestism.


File:Manson book.jpg
Kids love it, parents trust it's not creepy and violent. With a name like Manson, who wouldn't?

Marilyn Manson is also a famous children’s book illustrator. He illustrated the 2006 Appropriate Book Award winning Fuck Me With A Lampshade, and the 2009 classic Bite My Cock With Wooden Teeth. But he hasn’t just done lighthearted drawings; he also drew one of the most disturbing paintings in history - It was called Mr. Rabbit Goes To The Zoo. Because of UN censorship laws, even describing the painting is illegal, so you’ll have to just if the title wasn’t graphic enough.

Personal Life[edit]

Marilyn Manson is often seen emerging from distorted, blood spattered limousines, holding severed heads, and assaulting the paparazzi with assorted blunt instruments. It’s safe to say he’s just your average guy. Aside from all the grotesque, violent and disturbing things he does in his everyday life, he’s quite normal. He’s also dated some hot chicks. Rose McGowan, the machine-gun-legged chick from Planet Terror...he slept with her. Yeah. And Dita Von Teese. Her too. He’s a playa, no doubt. Both relationships ended in divorce or death, but who’s keeping track of that?


  • At a concert in Jacksonville, Florida in 1994, Manson introduced the audience to the organ that he used to record the Portrait Of An American Family album. The priests in the audience were thrilled, but some lame-o cops weren’t.
  • In 2001, Manson was spotted dressed as an overweight woman with sagging breasts, stealing various items from a supermarket. It was later revealed that the woman was actually Presidential nominee John McCain and not in fact Manson.
  • A woman from Arkansas accused Manson of enriching her child’s world views. Manson was hurt by accusations that he actually helped a child, and willingly went to jail for 2 months.
  • Manson has been accused by many for selling illegal My Little Pony paraphanelia. Manson denies this allegation, saying simply, "Where's Twiggy I'm horny"
  • In November 2007, it was revealed that Manson had purchased a child’s skeleton and multiple masks made of human faces. A judge ruled him guilty of being your average Joe.


  • Portrait Of A Mall-Goth Family (1994)
  • Smells Like B-O, Get Me Some Goddamn Teen Spirit! (1995)
  • Everyone That Used To Be My Friends Or In My Band, Sold Recording Of The Spooky Kids Once I Went Mainstream To Made These Low Quality CDs (I Didn't Get A Dime of Goddamn The Profit!) (1995)
  • Auntie Jemima Superstar! (1996)
  • Animals That Are Alchemical, Man (1998)
  • Hard Wood (Or How I Became Inaugurated As Pedo-King) (2000)
  • The Golden Age Of My Bowie and Cooper Imitation (2003)
  • Lunch Boxes, Choklit Goat-Fucking and Spooky Kids Kids Shit That Got Re-Released Due to a Lawsuit. (2005)
  • Eat Me, Drink Me, Smoke Me, Pop Me, Shoot Me, Snort Me (2007)
  • The Low End Of My Career (2009)
  • This page doesn't exist
  • Why You Gotta Be Playa Hatin'? (2010) (To date, his only rap album. Coincidentally, a best seller)
  • Kill! Kill! Die! Murder! Faggot! Rape! Stabbity! Stabbity! School Massacre! Demon! Children! Blood! Gay! (2011)
  • Desperate Attempt To Make Believe I'm The Antichrist Again Before We're Out Of Very Old Prophecies: Produced By The Ape Formerly Known As Trent Reznor (December 2012)