Mario Moonshine

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Super Mario Moonshine cover.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mario Moonshine.

Mario Moonshine is the first PC game in the Mario series made by Konami and released globally in August, 2003. It was made illegally in spite of Nintendo's monopoly on the popular Mario series, and the Japanese Supreme Court has ruled in favour of Konami thus far because Konami keeps bribing the judges. Some speculate that this is a move toward fascism and a judge state, although Prime Minister Koizumi denies this, commending Konami for its contribution to Japan's economy.

Super Mario Moonshine poster.

Nobuo Uematsu produced 20% of the music for Mario Moonshine. The other 80% was supposedly downloaded from the Intarweb and remixed into techno, though Konami denies this and has sued its critics for libel. Some of these critics' families and friends have starting boycotting Konami, but recently passed Japanese legislation requires all citizens to purchase at least seven Konami games per year, effectively making the boycott useless. Penalties for violation of this law differ from family to family (depending on how many Rupies Link has collected in his recent adventure), but common penalties include (but aren't restricted to): Fines up to 45,000,000 Geon (or payment in Demon Hungry Water Dragons heads), sentence up to 45 years in the local McDonalds chain, or being turned into a looping flash cartoon in which you're a human living during the 4 Billion Year Blizzard of Poisonous Scorpions.

Super Mario Moonshine was the expansion pack released globally on December 1, 2004. It adds the stylised word "Super" to the screen and includes a lot of subliminal messages. A new level was added, and the invincible star and cheat codes were added to aid the helpless newbies who couldn't even get past the first enemy.


A refreshment to enjoy when mario gets to hot running around.

Mario Moonshine... other wise known as Robert Mooneys in the future. This new Pedo production allows the consumer to be a part of Mr Mooneys life as he goes about seducing young children and allows you to re-enact his acts of cruelty as he locks up his victims. Along the way you will all the old and exciting characters from our previous games "watch out here comes rob" , "honey hide the children" and "OH shit its to late, Robs in our child's bedroom". These Characters are, Ewan the ferocious. join him in the battle to reach Hyde park and manage to get himself smashed before sunset.


Mario Moonshine was the first Mario title to get past its usual E rating. This time, it got an IM (Immature) rating for explicit sexual scenes, display of cartoony nude bodies, way too much profanity, way too much gore, and references to drugs and alcohol (duh, the entire game is about smuggling moonshine). The game is particularly disturbing as it combines cartoon and dark, gritty gang-war realism, creating cognitive dissonance for many people. It is banned in the United States, Australia, and other barbaric countries that are still living in the Dark Ages. Of note is a hidden scene featuring Peach and Mario having sex while Toad watches longingly and cries mushroom tears.

Mario Moonshine's popularity in the progressive Iran has stirred up controversy between the socialists, the hippies, and the Sunni's. The socialists think the game should be restricted for its strong violence, and they want to force Konami to colour the blood green to make it less offensive. The hippies don't care for the game, and think everyone should stop playing it to practice free love (and they are against green blood as it may offend our intergalactic friends). The Sunni's, no one cares about the dang Sunni's in Iran, dude; we're in Iran, the hippy state, mate, want some free mary-jane?


The game features many new enemies as well as old ones. Internet Explorer is a notable new boss on level one, but the player doesn't actually get to fight it as it gets eaten by a Slug in a cut scene.

Many other enemies include Saddam Hussein, where the player is required to dodge ceaseless armies of hair; and Mario, where the player eventually ends up killing him/herself. Luigi also made an appearance as a mini-boss, fueled by jealousy over the fact that Mario had a bigger dick than Luigi did.

If the player quickly presses "up" and "start" when a Toasty shows up on the screen, Mario is transported to Outworld, where he fights Bo Rai Cho in a battle between two perennial drunktards.

Protagonists MarioPrincess PeachToad
Russia mario.jpg
Antagonists Donkey KongGoombaWario
Luigis Gay LuigiMama Luigi (Luigi's sojournMagic balloon)Weegee
Locations Mushroom KingdomAnother CastleĀ®Yoshi's Park
Games Mario PartySuper Mario BrothersSuper Mario World
Whatnot Getting pushed into bananas (Mario Kart)Magic mushroomMariologyRaccoon Tail v. Super Mario CapeThe Mushroom Kingdom (band)