Martin Van Buren High School

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Martin Van Buren High School is a world-famous battledom for the Guyanese, Haitian, and Jamaican communities of the world. The battle is fashioned after the duels in Yu-Gi-Oh!.


Martin Van Buren High School is located in Killer Kweens because it is not yet black enough for Brooklyn.

Bloomberg's Bees[edit]

Michael Bloomberg oversees the duel. Traditionally, he also releases the VeeBee (the duel mascot) before each battle. His notorious mistreatment of the VeeBee has spurred complaints from many well-known insect rights groups. Consequently, Bloomberg has been suspended from any contact with the VeeBee for an indefinite period of time (it is widely speculated that he will persistently resume once he divorces his wife). Note: Bloomberg's absence results in the simultaneous suspension of the duels at Martin Van Buren High School. It is not yet known if the 2005 duels will occur.

Qualification and Prize[edit]

To qualify for a duel, the student must offer their blood to the principal, Marilyn Shevell. Upon a victorious defeat of one's opponent, one receives the ever-so-popular Keeblar chocolate bar. These chocolate bars are in vast supply at Martin Van Buren High School, which has the second largest supply, trailing only Saudi Arabia.