Max (Pokemon)

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OH SHIT!

“Mark failed the stupid test. He was so busy explaining how he was going to ace it, he forgot about the test.”

~ May and Max's teacher on Max

“That's Slacks! I mean Fax! I mean Jack! I mean Box! I mean Max!”

~ Max on his name

“I am Max. I am the best character on the show! Better than Ash and May combined!”

~ Max on His position on the show

“What if he doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me.”

~ Max on after speaking to Vader.

Summary[edit]

When Max came to the Pokemon cast, he was a backwater actor lacking the respect and experience that so many young actors are plagued by. He left with even less, most notably leaving his virginity (and least notably his dignity) behind. Many maintain they never liked him from the start, while his parents moved out of the country when asked for an interview. Needless to say, he lost the hearts of millions before they were ever won, earning the disrespect of all. So, as of season ten, so long, Mark.

A recent shocker shows that Max we know of is actually a pod person. See here for details.

Introduction of May and Arks[edit]

Mex grew up with his sister, May, born to a gym leader. His father sucks at Pokemon: hell, he's run out of gym badges to hand out. After Misty got arrested for petty theft, May and Miks were accepted into the show. Many fans of the show were very angry at this move, because Misty was the main reason they even bothered to watch Pokemon. Ash's spirits also recovered with Nix's introduction despite his repeated rejections by Brock. Indeed, many onset workers later testified in court that Ash seemed unusually perky when Lac was signed on. At this time too, many could help but notice Ash's increasing disinterest in taking the limelight, ultimately leading to May's domination of the show.

Max is perpetually the most worthless character in any anime ever. Hell, even Shippo was useful every now and then, like satisfying inuyasha furry needs, and occasionally he would create shrooms and various other hallucinogenics for the group. All Max does is sit there with his thumb up his ass and then sniffing that thumb while every one else falls into Team Rocket in the pockets simple and obvious plan. He also enjoys shoving carrots up his ass and having gay sex with male Jynx (A.K.A. Transvestites).

Mac vs Ash[edit]

Here we see Tacks in the background which emphasizes his role as a liability in the production of the series.

Shortly before Ash's death, Brax followed through on his earlier threats and testified to the courts about having his chocolate pudding stolen by Ash. Though the case made its way to the Petalburg Court, Box underestimated his level of disrespect, and the aspect of the case was skewed due to lack of care and concern. Instead of hearing his case, the judge and jury instead heard from a Mrs. Liebeck about hot McDonald's coffee. The picture in the newspaper was hers as well, not Manny's. McDonald's was then sued for improper handling of products, and improper food warnings. Mall was refused when he resubmitted his case to the courts on the grounds that his case had already been heard.

Post Ash[edit]

After Ash's death, Acks experienced a mix of joy, sorrow, nightmares and indegestion. Though at the funeral he was happy enough to deface Ash's coffin (and consequently arrested), and his tiny ass soon hit a depression. The cause of this is not known though some suspect it to be because of Misty's frequent visits to his prison cell while other denounce it as merely being a side effect of the sleeping agents May slips into his food before she "goes home for the day."

Boba Max[edit]

An unmasked Max in his Boba Fett suit by Ash. He escaped later.

After a while, Max and May reunited with Ash and Brock, and May befriended Dawn. When Max saw that Latias was in a relationship with Ash, he got very angry with jealousy. He then turned in to Boba Max. He promised himself that he would kill Ash. After Darth Vader wanted bounty on Luke Skywalker and Ash, he relucatntly joined the bounty. It is currently unknown where Max is at this point in time.

See also[edit]