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McG without a disguise
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about McG.

“I hope you leave enough room for my fist because i'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god damn spine!”

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger on Mcg's answer phone

Joseph McGinty Nichol (born August 9, 1968), better known as McG (also known as McPhee, McDaddyp, and Shirley), is a wanted criminal previously on the FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives.

Early Life[edit]

McG was born in Michigan on a beach where his father and mother were selling apples. With the couple now having a child and his father's beach apple selling business not yielding reward (mainly due to his father's insistence on selling only during winter and storms) his father decided to set up McG which was in no way inspired by seeing Mcdonalds and copying the idea but changing it slightly.

The new family business however was not successful, in hindsight people were not ready for apples in buns.

McG was at this stage not called McG but was in fact called Granny Smith. McG originally changed his name out of the desire to be cool and fit in at school by having a nickname however because he was ginger this was not possible.

But these early struggles were crucial and although not learning from his father how to see someone else's idea, then copy it, but change it slightly, only not as good as the original idea. He did learn the value of money.

Film Career[edit]

Somewhat ironically McG did not start his film career in films but in music. He began by producing Alan Sugar's first album entitled Fuzzy Sweet and his quick follow up LP Stack em' bitches high sell em' bitches cheap.

Alan Sugar In the studio

It was during working with Alan Sugar that McG decided to film the video for the first single from Fuzzy Sweet entitled Mo money? fuck yes!. The single flopped due to poor build quality. But it got McG noticed when Drew Barrymore,daughter of Michael Barrymore, approached him to direct the upcoming film Charlies Angels. McG wasn't paid much but the film grossed $250 million as heterosexuals flocked to the cinema hoping for some A-list girl on girl action, there wasn't any, this would affect the sequel.

McG then did nothing of any note. It was this lack of activity that has led many to wonder how the next step in McG's career occurred, with some suggessting McG forged his CV to include movies such as Black Hawk Down, Thelma and Louise and Roger Rabbit.


It is unclear how it came about but McG was then approached to direct Terminator Salvation the fourth film in the Terminator franchise. McG lept at the chance as fast as his heft could leap, which was not very fast but in the context of a fat man it was quite quick. Already onboard to appear in the film was no one. McG soon changed that though by bringing in Christian Bale to star in the film before changing the script to include an unknown man in an unknown role as an unkown machine.

Tensions were high on the set due to the constant changes and lack of adaquate catering facilities. It is believed McG ate the last bagel on set but blamed a lighting man this led to the now infamous rant by Bale. A further $50 million dollars was rushed into the production to ease the catering difficulties.

The film was released in 2009. McG had attempted to fuse black hawk down with scenes from Mad Max, War of the Worlds, Alien, Transformers the Movie and Reign of Fire. Unfortunately people noticed. The film was critically panned by noted critics such as big floppy handed Mark Kermode who said the film "Was shit".


McG's attempts to copy other films landed him in hot water with the then president George Bush whose favourite films are War of the Worlds and Transformers the Movie. The president quickly placed McG on the most wanted list demoting Osama Bin Laden to the FBI's we will get them when we get round to them but it isn't urgent list.

It is believed McG often uses a disguise

McG in disguise as Shirley

and should be treated as armed and dangerous, police have urged film fans and those with good aim to shoot on sight.

As of January 2009 McG is no longer one of the FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives as current president Barack Obama believes currently Tim Burton poses a greater threat to film.

Filmmakers of the World
Epic Visionaries

Michelangelo Antonioni | Ingmar Bergman | Peter Bogdanovich | Robert Bresson | Charlie Chaplin | Coen Brothers | Francis Ford Coppola | Cecil B. De Mille | Clint Eastwood | Federico Fellini | John Ford | D.W. Griffith | Alfred Hitchcock | Abbas Kiarostami | Sergio Leone | Martin Scorsese | Steven Spielberg | Andrei Tarkovsky | Orson Welles | James Cameron | Akira Kurosawa

Not-So-Epic Visionaries

Michael Bay | Uwe Boll | Tim Burton | Ken Burns | John Carpenter | Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer | Mel Gibson | Tom Green | Catherine Hardwicke | Spike Lee | George Lucas | Dolph Lundgren | McG | Michael Moore | Leonard Nimoy | Guy Ritchie | George Romero | Joel Schumacher | M. Night Shyamalan | Alan Smithee | Oliver Stone | Billy Bob Thornton | Tommy Wiseau | John Woo | Ed Wood | Rob Zombie | Nicholas Webster | Roger Corman | Ang Lee

Highly Respected in France

Woody Allen | Darren Aronofsky | Mel Brooks | Sofia Coppola | Jean-Luc Godard | Jim Jarmusch | Charlie Kaufman | Jerry Lewis | David Lynch | Rob Schneider | Lars von Trier

Highly Confusing in Japan

Milos Forman | Terry Gilliam | Akira Kurosawa | Russ Meyer | Quentin Tarantino

Highly Disturbing in Mexico

Guillermo del Toro | Jared Hess

Highly Racist in Suid-Afrika

Neill Blomkamp

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