Me v. God

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The Sun, one of the most popular products of God

Last Saturday night I woke up and, feeling like I should get in touch with nature, I looked out of my bedroom window - And guess what? I saw the Sun! Amazing, huh?

I wandered over to my living room and sat on the sofa, trying not to fall asleep. Lazily I set my eyes on the living room window – and, there it is, the Sun again! Barely two minutes since I last saw it and there it was, hanging on the Sky with its annoying shine. Alright, I can put up with that. I went into my kitchen to get myself a cup of coffee and perhaps be freed from the outrageous product placement, but - you wouldn’t believe this – I, out of some curiosity, looked out of the kitchen window – and, yes! It’s the goddamn Sun yet again! Thrice in four minutes! And, what’s even more – I checked every bedroom window, and all three toilet windows – And the Sun™ is outside EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! I mean, alright, Yehovah (more commonly known with His nickname “God”) created the Universe. He also created me, and I appreciate that. But does that mean He could ruin our lives with shameless advertising of His products? No, Dad. No more the Sun™. Why can’t we have, say, a sheep outside one kitchen window, and a puppy outside the living room one? Wouldn't that be cute?

I am now contacting my lawyer on advise in suing God for monopoly and unnecessary product placement. If the antitrust lawsuit is successful, the Sun™ will appear in the Sky (which also happen to be a product of God) only once per day. Breach of this order would perhaps result in a removal of the whole Sky™ and everything else we see outside a window, basically. Its replacement will be selected by bidding – most likely a giant can of Coca-Cola™.

I am also planning to pursue charges on breach of privacy – Can’t the Sun™ at the very least stay out of the outside of my toilet windows? This has caused a certain amount of nervousness whenever I take a bath. I am planning to seek damages in loss of social ability and lack of joy when taking a bath. Moreover, if successful, the Sky™ with its decoration, the Sun™ would have to stay out of the exterior of all toilet windows.

Further charges may or may not be made.