Mega Man versus Rock Man

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“Yeah, rock

~ Tamia

Mega Man versus Rock Man is the great war of minds and hearts and various small apendages that results from years of tension between, well, Mega Man and Rock Man. Their hatred for one another gathered like locusts for years,

festered like shit for a few minutes and then exploded in a dramatic flare of violence and chocolate goodness that the world had never seen before. Many consider it the single most important moment in all of history. Many don't. Probably more don't than do.

The Offenses[edit]

Their deep rivalry began one Autumn morning as Mega Man woke to go do something and Rock Man set his head on fire. From there, Mega Man burst into tears and ran around in circles. Rock Man laughed. Damn him.

After extinguishing himself, Mega Man signed a contract with Nintendo to make a game after his life. Not his bout with alcohol, the other thing. The one where he saved the planet.

Mega Man decided to use his hard earned cash payoff from the Nintendo deal to get back at Rock Man, and he purchased a really big mallet to strike him down. The only problem, he got the wrong man.

Melvin J. Peters sued Mega Man for thirty three bazillion dollars over the incident.

Rock Man got the message though. It was on.

Shit Hits Fan[edit]

Mega Man and Rock Man ironically showed up to the same McDonald's on the same day at the same time and, according to one customer, engaged each other in a verbal assault. Rock Man accused Mega Man of sleeping with his wife. Mega Man accused Rock Man of not even having a wife. They both accused McDonald's of having bad chicken. Then, Mega Man spat in Rock Man's face.

The shit hit the fan.

A manager attempted to intervene and was promptly blasted into an oblivion. Mega Man and Rock Man exchanged three blows before Rock Man slipped on some ketchup, falling backwards and cracking his head open. A much different version of their fight was featured in the Mega Man Game, only in the Game the it's hard as fuck.

Harvard Experiment[edit]

To this date it is unsure who would have one the great battle if ketchup had not so divinely intervened. Harvard decided to make an estimate.

Two scientists, Harvey McWeaklingson and Baron Von Kancickyourass dressed up as the wo characters and exchanged blows. The experiment is said to be concrete evidence that Rock Man would have won. Some say it also proves that people names Baron can beat your ass.

Taken Right After Experiment

After Fight[edit]

Rockman died at the end of the fight. Mega Man went on to become rich from the profits off of his hard-as-fuck game.

Rockman's body is currently located somewhere in Montana. He requested specifically not to be buried anywhere in Montana.

Rock Man however lives on in both the hearts of millions and the mole people of underground Montana where he is rich off the profits of his hard-as-fuck game in Japanese.