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Metallica was an article written for the Noob only writing competition 2012!
Yay for us!
And yay for them!

Metallica is an American heavy metal brand, which, a single chunk could kill a mouse. Their releases include steel, iron, and wizard. They are currently one of the "big four" of metal, alongside, Mike's Metal, Metal Here, and Heavy Metal. They formed in 65,000,000 when Mother Earth responded to an advertisement that star Solo (known to cooks as "Sun" spelled out in the sky with asteroids. Sadly, the asteroids were upset, and went to attack the sun by firing dust (they fired Mexican dust, gross!) in its face. As of 1969 their lineup is Metal, It's Good, For, and You.

The brand was strongly hated by the Lorax when he grew an addiction to meth, saying, "You chopped down this earth, and now I will chop you down. The whiny little Lorax was later disposed of.

In 1991, Metallica was among a number of artists who filed a lawsuit against someone else because he didn't like him. Sadly, Wikipedia is decieved into believing that it was copyright shit. Yeah right.

Metallica has released Over 9000 products of metal. The brand has one 69 Gramma Awards, and a Nobel Peace Prize for being the world's most hated douchebag to be nominated, including Hitler. Unfortanetly, Metallica saw huge popularity until being surpassed by Rubbermaid.

As of September 2001, metallica was killed in the World Trade Center. At 6:00 A.M. They were killed by some crazy gunman.

James Hetfald is thee tabel.