Mexican-redneck wars

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This gun has no recoil. at all.whatsoever.

The Mexican-Redneck War was one of the bloodiest wars in the history of the world. It all began near the border between Mexico and the USA. The two main factions were angry mexicans and rednecks that were tired of seeing Mexican people mowing lawns and eating tacos daily.

The Battle of the Fence[edit]

It all started when some rednecks enlisted for the border patrol and invited some of their friends. Before you knew it, they were camping by a fence with some shotguns. Not too long after, some Mexicans showed up wielding tequila bombs and bolt-action rifles. There was a standoff that lasted 24.67 hours where no one fired a shot. Finally, the Mexicans swooped in on their lawn-mower fighter jets and made a bloody hash of about half of the redneck army, causing a mass retreat by the rednecks. The Mexicans started celebrating soon after the last trailer disappeared on the horizon by eating tacos and mowing the lawns around the fence. This could be possibly the first victory ever achieved by Mexico in anything.

Bubba Hunter[edit]

Now, when the Redneck army retreated, beaten and tired out from the lawn-mower fighter jets, a young man with a funky mustache, an accent like a hick, and a big beer can, named Bubba Hunter decided to take over the Redneck army and decided to call themselves the Blue-Collar Nazis. Their emblem was a deer with a big rack and a crosshair with the lines bent at a 90 degree angle on the end. They established base and camped out for a while, trying to figure out what they were going to do about the Mexicans.

Dirty Sanchez[edit]

As the Mexican army partied with their tacos and lawn mowing parties, a man who used to be the mascot of Taco Bell who was named Dirty Sanchez was voted in by the soldiers to be leader. This man would become an influential leader in the war against Rednecks and terror.

The Trailer Park Battle[edit]

The next day, Dirty Sanchez learned the location of the Nazi encampment from two droids named R2-D2 and C3PO and decided to try to finish off the enemy. At dawn, all the Mexicans moved out, with trucks equipped with mounted bolt action rifle turrets called Warthogs. As the trucks arrived at the bunkers (trailers with pieces of tin hammered on the sides) and started to open fire, the rednecks quickly revealed their new creation: they had bolted on triangular pieces of tin to the sides of some of the trailers, which came to be known as the AC-130 gunship, and they were quick to take off in them. The AC-130 (nicknamed "The Big Turkey" by the nazis) is a gunship that has an experimental weapon, known as the beer can. This was a devastating weapon against both the lawn mower fighter jets and the infantry on the ground. The beer can could destroy the lawn mower's engines, causing them to stall, and also made the Mexican's tacos taste bad, which began to starve the army. Finally, the AC 130s took out all of the air force that was at the scene of the battle and caused the Mexicans to call off the attack. The AC 130s tried to pursue but couldn't due to lack of fuel,but then jeff foxworthy's son remembered that it was that time of the month for him,because taco bell gave out coupons that week so they tried to fill the AC 130's with crap juice it didn't work. So he made his swife lick it up why she was bending over he showed her a drill and asked her what was her favorite flavor. The Nazis celebrated that night by going hunting and beating their wives and beating them with six packs of beer.There are rumors that shot guns and bolt action rifles were used, but there is no proof to back it up.

Building A Better Weapon[edit]

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The Mexicans knew that their weaponry was inferior, so they hired someone named CliffyB and Juan Sanchez de Guadalupe to make a better and cheaper weapon. What he came up with was an assault rifle with a chainsaw bayonet type thing (Normally called the Machine Gun Chainsaw Bayonet Thingy, or the Lancer for short) and gave it to the Mexicans to try against the Nazis.They gave it to the black people also so they could be more ghetto.

The Trial of the Lancer[edit]

As the Mexicans advanced on the Nazi camp with their newly created lancers, the Nazis and Arabs were just starting to wake up. When the Mexicans struck the camp, panic ensued, with Nazis mistaking Arabs for being Mexicans, and soon the Nazi base was all but destroyed.And the Black people were looting everything and stealing during the fight and no one noticed.

Bubba's Return[edit]

Unbeknownst to the Mexicans, Bubba Hunter had gone off on an early hunting trip, and as the Mexicans left the scene, Bubba was just returning. He looked up from the ruins and saw several lawn mower fighter jets flying back to the Mexican base, Bubba forgot about the new wife he had just found in collection to the 32 other wives he already had, and headed back to his hometown of Texas.

The Rednecks were attempting a counter assault at 8: easter Sunday. When they were moving out a bunch of Mexicans from Home Depot jumped them with power tools and landscaping equipment. Not one redneck survived the day except Bubba and his sister he was engaged to.Then he slept with a Mexican child and got AiDS from her and he died. In his will he willed off the forces to his son Billy Bob Van Byerkeg, also known as David Duke. David Duke started plans on an invasion of the Gheto (see Redneck Ghetto Wars).

Don't Mess With Texas[edit]

As Adolf returned to Texas, he shouted out "The Mexicans are Coming, The Mexicans are Coming!" and soon, he rallied up a large army to replace the lost Nazis.

Also, an old friend of Adolf's named George W. Bush heard of the impending Mexican threat against his fellow redneck's army and sat, trying to decide if he should commit some of the U.S. army to help.

For Allah[edit]

The Mexican's overheard the news of the possibility of US getting involved in the war from a Taco Bell stationed near where the Nazis were meeting. Adolf decided to call one of his brothers from another mother, named Saddam Hussein. After explaining the situation to Saddam, the first reaction that he got was "no". but when he mentioned that the US might be getting involved, and that there were Taco Bells to blow up, Saddam couldn't help but smile and shout "For ALLAH!". Meanwhile, CliffyB was getting complaints that the chainsaw was being spammed by newbs and that the Lancer's bullets were too weak, so CliffyB contacted Microsoft, the company that made the guns for him. Finally, Microsoft issued a patch that made the Lancer's bullets stronger to make multiplayer more fair.

Mexican gunship[edit]

The Mexicans were in a rush to develop a gunship to counter the AC-130. They hired Jeff Foxworthy and Hugo Chavez to develop a useful gunship. What they developed was a pickup truck with tin wings and a propeller made of card board at the front powered by the fumes from the reaction of taco bell in their digestive track. This was called the "border hopper". It could carry 465 Mexicans in the back and 30 in the cab. The Mexicans used tequila bottles, landscaping tools, and bolt action rifles to counter the redneck forces.Then the mexicans entered a pimp my board hopping truck hosted by your mom but all they did was throw the mexican infested model shower, because jose santana francisco pablo pueblo enrique cuervo AKA: taco bell dog because he wanted to be white, but all he needed to do was to act like your black(but you really aren't even remotely close just cause you listen to rap music), and still dance like your white and wear abercrombie and *itch

Redneck Space program[edit]

Remember to warm the o-rings.

In order to track the Mexicans hoping the border, the Rednecks started their space program. Consisting of 5 F150 flame birds, the rednecks have dispatched them into orbit to monitor and take out key Mexican targets. The ship is armed withe a few shotguns, beer cans, and some moonshine bombs.

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