Mithun Chakraborty

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Baap ka Baap..Sabka Baap...Truckdriver Suraj!!!

“He makes more movies than we make cars.”

~ Japan on Mithun Chakraborty

“This Sucker has no taste at all.”

~ An Average Child on Mithun Chakraborty

“We should have sent him to Big Brother and Let Jade Goody Eat him alive.”

~ Shilpa Shetty on Mithun Chakraborty

Mithun Chakraborty is the greatest stuntman ever. He is driven by an intense desire to fight against Newton's laws of motion and the force of gravity, which he claims are fantasies instilled in our minds by Bangladeshis with special microwaves.

Film Career[edit]

A legend in the Indian film industry, Mithun Chakraborty has been fired from a cannon every day for almost 30 years. He started his career with a Mrinal Sen movie 'Mrigaya: Boxes be Exploding, Sir', after graduating from FTII, which won him his first National Award, a small fork wrapped in taffeta. He is a 3 time National Award winner along with 2 Filmfare and many other International Film awards which he keeps on his specially lengthened mantlepiece in Delhi.

He was at one time, regarded as a rival to Amitabh Bachchan in the 80s with his countless films which showed him in an "angry young man having a piano dropped on him from a great height" image which Bachchan was famous for in the 70s. However, since Bachchan exploded in 1979, he has acted unchallenged in nearly 200 Hindi films and is considered a legend in his own mind. He also considers himself to be a celebrity and leading superstar and megastar in 1980's, 1990s. And today he considers himself better than God, because God never bungie jumped naked into a bucket full of crocodiles. Mithun's inclination towards saving somebody's rape is most appreciated. He plops up from nowhere and the lady finally marries him after she is saved from the hooligans.

In 2007, there are 35 movies that are envisaged to give palpitations to Pierce Brosnan, Shahrukh Khan, Amitabh Bachchan, Abhishek Bachchan, as long as they are all in the same room together, and Mithun is yelling at them about how great he is.

Films rejected by Mithun[edit]

  • Terminator is being very nasty
  • Spiderman is being good and Mr. Spider well done
  • Superman is being super
  • Titanic is big ship sinking with no refund of ticket money is being cheating cinemagoers
  • Dances with Wolves is weird name for film
  • The Sound of Music is no sense to tone deaf Mithun
  • Porkies 7, the Slippery Shower Time.

Plot of Mithun's Super Hit Movies[edit]

Each movie depicts his mother being raped while he stood helplessly by as a child. Later in the movie his sister is also raped(this may explain Mithun's severely retarded state of mind)by his landlord. Father(an innocent man)is either killed or imprisoned for life.

Mithun's Timeless Classics[edit]

Mithunda in climax scene of Agnipath firing two double barelled water guns simultaneously at Danny Denzongpa
  • Dalaal,
  • Chandaal
  • Pyar ka Mandir - New concept of Armour and Bulet Proof
  • Zahreela - A new concept in Kungfu
  • Hitler - From where does he think of such brilliant titles???
  • Gandhitler - and again???
  • Loha - Have you ever caught a fired bulet from a gun with your hand?? Learn the trick in this movie.
  • Ilaakha
  • Aakhri Gulam
  • Dada
  • Boxer - Later copied by Sylvester Stallone and remade Rocky
  • Commando
  • Suraksha - Greatest competition to 007
  • Vardat - Sequel to Suraksha
  • and many more...
  • EPIC:GUNDA: (a must-watch movie. Go and grab a pirated cd from your nearest video library - it's Prabhuji's greatest creation and a timeless classic.)
  • Dance Dance (I am a disco dancer).
  • Jurm

Mithuns Compensation[edit]

...for having a severely dented brain: Being one of the most expensive, highly paid star in Hollywood and Bollywood. Mithun has Tanzania, Cambodia, Ethiopia, and other internatinal huge countries licking the crumbs from his well paid hands.

Mithun's stunts have become historical from the very moment he did them and being shirt-lifted in Hollywood films hasn't helped. His dialogues have been recommended in IIM, Harvard and Chikuwadi, as the most natural Indian Stuntman dialect type in the world.

Memorable Mithunda dialogues[edit]

Poster from Diya aur toofan (Lamp and typhoon)

The best one .....from some movie where Mithunda plays a truck driver - Rasta mera baap, truck meri ma. (Road is my father and truck is my mother)

Jab Gidad ki Maut aati hai tab wo Shahar ki taraf bhagta hai. Jab teri maut aayegi mohalle me aajana (When a jackal dies he runs to town. When your death comes you will run to me)

Tere naam ka kutta paalu...ladki ko jaane de! (I will name my dog after you. Let the girl go!)

A makkanaa... Tum mere ko lungi bolte? Ab mai lungi uthha ke kya karti dekh...! - from Agneepath. (Yo call me loin cloth eh? Now I will lift my loin cloth and you see what I do!)

A kya re... baai baai bolte aur pathar marte...! - from Agneepath. (WTF! you call me brother brother and throw me stones...!)

Hum lungi uthati tum ko disco dikhati, baari baari hum tum sab ki dholak bajaati! (I raise my loin cloth and show you disco, you watch. By turn I beat each of your drums!)

I am Krishnan Aiyyar Yam Ye, I am nariyal pani wala. - from Agneepath. (I am Krishna Aiyyar, MA, I am coconut milk man)