Mnemonics

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Mnemonics is a highly controversial educational indoctrination technique introduced by left-wing social engineers in the early 1980s.

How Mnemonics Works[edit]

Intensive scientific studies have shown that mnemonics is maximally effective when beginning at the second grade level. The young students are taught to associate the key ideological concepts of godless secular humanism with lurid photographs by Pulitzer-prize-winning journalists and randomly-timed loud noises from shrill whistles, buzzers, and giant Chinese gongs. During the process, brain-wave activity and rates of saliva production are carefully monitored for significant changes.

Every valid (i.e., politically correct) association is awarded with a warm tender hug from a Michael Jackson look-a-like and a tasty Liva-Snap™. If, on the other hand, the children's performance falls below a preset threshold, they are given painful electric shocks from Joy buzzers carried by the teacher's squadron of hired goons.

Long-Term Results[edit]

The practice of mnemonics has fallen into disrepute lately when it was discovered that approximately 65% of the students which were enrolled in the federally mandated "Hooked on Mnemonics" courses had subsequently developed an unhealthy addiction to over-the-counter doggy treats whilst zapping themselves with portable Van de Graaff generators. On the other hand, mnemonics has proven itself highly effective in reducing the typical child's instinctive terror of Michael Jackson.

See Also[edit]