Mobile Cod

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mobile code.

Cod is the common name for the genus Gadus of fish, belonging to the family Gadidae, and is also used in the common name of a variety of other fishes. Cod is a popular food fish with a mild flavor, low fat content, and a dense white flesh that flakes easily. Cod livers are processed to make cod liver oil, an important source of Vitamin A, Vitamin D and omega-3 fatty acids.

Whilst the Cod is indeed a common and harmless fish, the Mobile Cod is a different matter altogether.

Obtained from remote oceans, transferred across a network of water bodies, and then removed from those water bodies ("downloaded") and executed on a local plate without explicit cooking ("installation") or pickling ("execution") by the recipient. Examples of Mobile Cod include scripts (BacalhauScript), ActiveCod controls, Flish animations, and mackerels embedded within Office documents.

Moblous Codus Nefarious
Method of Transport water based TCP/IP
Damages Nasty stomachache
Fatalities Flipper, and the annoying boy from Surface

Mobile Cod can also be sent via mail, but this kind of operation might become extremely complicated due to the effect of ice on envelopes (whereas the cod is being maintained fresh) or the affect of the horrendous smell on the postal service (whereas the cod is not being maintained fresh).

In almost all situations, the consumer is not aware that Mobile Cod is being consumed and executing in their workstomach. This will result in dire consequences, including modern education and freedom of speach.

Why Mobile?[edit]

Due to the Cod's nasty ability to squirm into tiny spaces and mobilize itself from ocean to ocean and from fish and chips shop to a fish and chips shop, it is considered a by far more dangerous adversary than other formidable fish, such as the Orca, the Shark and the Gefilte Fish.

Mobile Cod Infections[edit]

“Something here smells fishy...”

~ Idiome

Preliminary Warning signs[edit]

Those who are about to experience an infection may experience the following:

  • Horrible smell coming out of a signed envelope.
  • The feeling of pointy teeth biting through a vital organ.
  • Suspicious growling sounds rising from one's stomach.

How Should I protect myself?[edit]

In case of Mobile Cod infections one should proceed to undertake the following immediately:

  • Evacuate the premises immediately
  • Fry the motherfucker. Use loads of lemon.


Mobile Cod technologies can be used to support two different paradigms:

  • Cod on demand. (also known as The Fish Market).
  • Mobile agents. (also known as The Fish Peddler marching quickly due north after selling his last piece of Mobile Cod).

Related species called Cod[edit]

  • Malicious Cod, is a very nasty piece of work with pointy sharp teeth and a very very bad temper.
  • Hostile Cod, is a Cod which is in constant foul mood, and tend to use obscenities

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