Moles

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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Moles.

You probably were searching for MPs and the government in general, but instead you were redirected here. Don't worry, 'tis quite a common error these days, since most of them are moles.


Basically, Moles are a reasonably-sized rodent which live in burrows like rabbits.Killing moles is not advised since they are friendly little creatures but have a terrible temper. Like a hundred times worse than the Incredible Mole-k. Not mike, ok? But who would want to kill the moles anyway?. They are bigger than a stoat but smaller than a weasel. Did you hear the joke? Whats the difference between a stoat and a weasel. One is weaselly recognised whereas the other one is stoatly different. Anyway, moles live in large gangs and are firm believers in polygamy, with each mole having mole-tiple mole husbands or wives. Mole-cal Kerr was the famous mole for going against the polygamy religion of the other moles saying: "Sexism is not in the mole dictionary!" and he was right. It wasnt in the mole dictionary. So all the other moles burnt him at the stake incase he was some kind of dictionary witch or something. Silly moles, he knew the secret of cooking using fire and as a result they were all mole-nourished. Sorry...


Team Walrus are awesome.[edit]

Nazi Zombie Moles[edit]

Nazi Zombie Moles tend to attack those who play Call of Duty or Fallout 3 for extended periods of time. We're looking at you, Alan and Nick...

Music moles like[edit]

Moles especially like music from the 60's because that was the time that Moletown became popular. They are partial to a bit of Moleja boy. Moles like Moleplay and a bit of reggae, especially Bob Moley. They adore Tenacious Mole. Their favourite song is the final moledown. Contrary to popular belief, moles are into classimole music, particularly Carmola Burana. Another firm mole favourite is rock and mole, perhaps even guns and moleses.

Food moles eat[edit]

They like water-mole-n and they also are partial to a bit of guaca-MOLE-y. Also they eat mole-dy cheese, particularly extra mole-ture cheddar. Adam... Sometimes they eat mole-verine, although hes an X-Men character and not really a food at all. Ah well... *sighs, then begins to weep*


Drinks moles slurp up with their sweet, delicious, succulent tongues[edit]

They regularly drink coca mola, which is a diet coke, but rebranded to make it seem cool for moles. Or as the moles say, mool...


Dances that moles boogie to[edit]

Moles do the mole-trot, with their 20 different partners. If they hurt themselves then they have a Natiomole Health Service. They study Techmology (especially Resistant Moleterials) and Health and Molcial Care at mollege. They are the only options. They drive automolebles, which they park in mole-ti storey car parks.

Movies moles like to watch[edit]

They like any films with Mole Gibson in it. Also, they like Hannah Mole-tana and High School Molesical. Poor moles, they have no taste in films. They enjoy the football film Mole: the impossible dream and they also like Silence of the Moles, especially the character Hannimole Lector. Finally, they are into Molverfield, a dark survival horror film. Their favourite type of punctuation is the molon; which is like a colon but mooler.


Newspapers Moles Read (although they are blind)[edit]

The only paper that moles read is the Daily Mole. Stephen Molekins, a genius mole with a very high IM (intelligence moletient) is very good at mole-tiplicaiton and division, but division isn't really a pun at all. One of their top scientists invented the MOLE-cule and the Higgs Molson (you know, the supposed Mole particle that the Large Hadron Mollider was meant to find, instead it created mole-ature black moles, not black holes at all). Also, they found a cure for Molaria, which is caused by Molesquitos. It is great news for everbody everywhere.!.


Britains got mole talent[edit]

Well, there are tree judges. Firstly, theres piers molegan, former editor of the Daily Mole. Then theres amanda moleden, who just cries a lot, finally theres Simon Cowell (you can't really make a mole pun out of his name...). Sometimes guest judge Kelly Brook joins them, shes a mole-del. Susan MO(y)LE is now very famous, having had over 100,000,000 hits on Moletube.

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Moles in Popular Culture[edit]

Well, they were in the TV show the Wombles, as the wombles. They were in the hit sci-fi show Doctor Mole. Also, they played a massive part in George Orwell's Ani-mole farm, playing bad guys including Namoleon and old Mole. WE are obsessed with celebrity mole culture including Cheryl Mole, judge on Mole Factor, Ashley Mole, former footballer for AsMole FC and Mole Gallagher, frontman for Moleasis and finally George Bush. MOLEs are extremely good at demoleishing things.


Books by Dan Brown that should have moles in them[edit]

Firstly, there is the da vinci mole. Then theres angels and demoles. Finally, theres the up and coming book, the lost symbmole. Nelson Mole-dela is very famous.

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Origins[edit]

The Mighty Mole. He seems to be responsible for alot of stuff. Like Wookiees. And Justice League. And polos. Nah, not that last one. Stupid wookiee, believing the fad was over.

But anyway the mighty mole decides what the new fads are.


Urban Myths surrounding moles[edit]

One old wives tail (do you get it? because moles might have tails! hahaha) suggested that moles could not bear pickled onions in their burrow , or to coin the proper phrase, their citadel (not all of this article is complete rubbish, just molst of it) , but this is untrue, they just don't like Allium porrum, because they cause leeks in the citadel and consequently many moles drown. (to get the joke, you'll probably have to look up leeks. its the only hway...)

The EU and the Euro[edit]

Gordon Brown has been campaigning to Mole-dovia into the EU and to get the Euro instead of the mollar, because that way Mole-dovia will have a much more mole-ti-cultural population.


Social/Political Hierarchy[edit]

Every mole bows to his moliness, the mighty mole. Mole-cal Kerr was the the head of the mole-archy , until an unfortunate incident concerning the mole dictionary. Now Gordon Brown is the mighty mole. He was elected after he was forced to go underground because the humans were fed up of his labour party. The only other candidate was "Darth Mole" , a failed star wars character who persuaded John Mole-clane to join the dark side and fight against climole change. Darth Moles was the leader of the Liberal Demolecrats.


Where naughty moles go[edit]

Bad moles go to Guantanamole bay, where controversial interview techniques are sued upon them (torture).


Weapons Moles Use[edit]

Moles throw mole-tov cocktails at their enemies, and they use knives close-range. Genimolia.

Naughty moles look at prawnography and pay for mole dancers.

The secret mole rat brethren of doom![edit]

Moles have recently reached several trade agreements with the mole rat brethren (of doom) to take nude (not crude) oil from the secret mole rat lair for a small fee of 1,000,000 mollars (the exchange rate for mollars to dollars is about 0.778 at this time, you do the maths...). The mole rats needed the money fter the credit crunch left them rather bare (do you get it, bare! cause there naked!) and out of pocket. Wait a minute. they're naked. They don't have pockets. Thieving, lying rats!! They have deceived the moles!!


[edit]

Watch Recycleman's Adventures on Youtube now. The whole cast are moles. Except the good-looking one at the beginning (who is not boring!). I love him.[edit]

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Legend[edit]

There are no legends surrounding moles,and to be honest, this article is a bit rubbish.. Its UDDER rubbish. And that pun would have worked if this article was about cows. But moles have udders now. So its all good.


Me, moleself and I[edit]

Well, I really doubt that anybody has actually bothered to read all the way down here, so I guess its just me and the oversized sombrero I'm wearing now. Alone at last. Yeah, thats right, bet you wish you were me right now. Well, too bad, I'm me and I am what I am because of my friends. Or something like that...

Mole Twisters[edit]

How many bowls, could a good mike bowl, if a good mole, could bowl, bowls?


Mole Greeting[edit]

Good mole-ning


Love. The. Mole. Or. Else. It. Will. Get. You... FACT.[edit]

See also[edit]