Mong

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A subspecies of human.

The Mong In General[edit]

Just imagine a bald orange tang and you've got yourself a good picture of a mong.

Mongs are very happy people, but absolutely obsessed with gambling, though they only gamble with the fruit they are given to eat.

Due to their special abilities, mongs are often given high-level jobs in the banking sector, especially since the money isn't fruit. (Actual true fact, extracted from the great Quoran, apparantly, the very first fact to appear on the jerry springer show)

History Of The Word 'Mong'[edit]

Cunning linguists have long believed that the word mong died out in the 1970s, 1980s or whenever exactly it was that political correctness gripped the breeding classes.

The word mong is a classic conversation killer: In the minds of most people, this word exists only in their subconscious memories, but when employed in casual discourse by a speech-terrorist it can completely destroy the thread, causing all parties to splutter in laughter as they suddenly remember the mongs they used to bully when six.

Another good words for this practise are

  • Spazz
  • Spacker
  • Joey
  • Mong
  • Noob
  • SavNahh
  • Twat

Outbreaks Of Mongism[edit]

'LATELY there have been multiple outbreaks of mongism, these outbreaks have been caused by Alan the 'hitman' oliver, as his friends call him, cunt.. and anybody else who doesn't know him, it's cunt to you aswel, as many of you know, Mark the 'Rottweiler' Lawrenson and Anal the 'hitman' Oliver have been working together lately but have been foiled in their attempts of multiple 'Obafemi will be sold next week' crimes, they are both at the moment in custody awaiting trials, the maximum punishment will be death, and after the execution, they face a maximum of another 5 years in prison too, aye, fucking harsh

Although this is pretty risky, Anal Oliver (the hitman ofcourse) is apparently ITK at the moment and will NEVERRRRRRRR lose his ITKness, Mak Lawresnon can be shot as nobody gives a fuck aboot him.. he has offered mind, to be Prison bumboy, and has even offered to go on soap-pick-up-duty, he says he is scared of nothing and nobody.

List of known mongs[edit]

  • MC Mong (Number 1 Mong)
  • Akin (Number 2 Mong)
  • Cee Taw [currently the only jew mong alive today]
  • Nick Wright
  • Martin Young
  • Every cunt on Tyne Talk!!!!
  • Martin Young
  • Martin Young
  • Jonathan Wong - dont get the wong wong -London,England,UK
  • Kieren Wong
  • Oh, and the whole Mong family as well
  • John Roberts (Theres only one)
  • Mr S White
  • Brenz the Dutch cunt
  • Nursey the biggest homo in the universe
  • Special Needs Martin Jol
  • A Bathing Ape, the biggest bald cunt on the face of the planet.
  • Every cunt on Newcastle Online
  • Anal Oliver
  • Cunt
  • Kev
  • FAF
  • Brenz deserves two
  • Wayne Rooney
  • Every Redshite in the world - i.e. most Norwegians
  • R2D2[has a small dick]
  • Bill Gates
  • Michael Ong (M+Ong=Mong)
  • The hand of Gash
  • Vietmong
  • Mongkong
  • Mongronesia
  • Super Saiyan Mong
  • Unit Dave
  • Jack Prentice
  • Anybody who crosses the path of Sean Bean
  • The next person to edit this page.
  • Aled John Loeyd Evans


Mongs are known to refer to themselves in third person, for example mong is angry, mong will beat you up, mong is unsatisfied with you making fun of me on this article. Mongs are also known to be retarded in their actions. Mongs are also known as the one word joke and frequent mentioning of them cause rooms to erupt in laughter.