Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (future film)
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Morphin Power Rangers is a 2008 documentry based on the Morphin Wars of the 1990s. Unlike the previous installments, this film will be a revamp, directed by His Royal Highness Michael Bay, who recently struck gold with the action-packed PG-13 adventures Transformers, The Smurfs vs Megalon, Fraggle Rock, and the Care Bears. The idea is that the origin story will be told using veteran British actors because they are better actors that the dinky no-namers from the original TV series.
“I only knew of Power Rangers through Super Sentai. Therefore, I wasn't familiar with Zordon or any of that. So when Saban approached me, they very kindly showed me a few tapes of Power Rangers, and I was immediately hooked. And I honestly think Zordon is better than some weird priest-looking guy who looks like Ed Asner. This dude, Barza, loks like Mario or something, then he turns into a weird-looking wizard dude; it's like an acid trip. Zordon is the better of the two dudes. And besides, who hasn't savored the thought of Hannibal playing a giant head inside of a jar?”
“Anthony is such a great actor, and he will do this film justice. Just wait till you see the scene where Zordon takes off his mask and eats Alpha halfway into the film. -- Oops, I shouldn't have told you that! Dammit!”
Playing the role of Zordon's adversary, Lord Zedd, is legendary actor and legendary villain, Christopher Lee. Lee said:
“They showed me the script and I was hooked immediately, so long as all of my commands are obeyed. Then... I shall rule the world! (Evil laugh)! Psyche, I'm just playin' witch youse, homey! This is actually the worst movie I've ever done since The Stupids with Tom Arnold! I'm only doing this crap for the money. But I was being dead serious when I said I wanted to rule the world!”
- Tommy Oliver/Green Ranger... Daeg Faerch
- Jason Lee Scott/Red Ranger... Noah Crawford
- Kimberly Hart/Pink Ranger... Scout-Taylor Compton
- Trini Kwan/Yellow Ranger... Miki Ishakawa
- Zack Taylor/Black Ranger... Malcolm David Kelley
- Billy Cranston/Blue Ranger... Drew Osborne
- Zordon... Anthony Hopkins
- Alpha 5... William Hung
- Priest... Ed Asner
- Thomas "TJ" Carpenter... Jason David Frank
- Ernie Phillips... James Gandolfini
- Ernie's brother... John Goodman
- Ms. Appleby... Kathy Bates
- Lord Zedd... Gary Oldman
- Rita Repulsa... Kristin Chenoweth
- Rita Repulsa (stunt double)... Britney Spears
- Goldar... Steven Seagal
- Finster... Ian McKellen
- Vlad Darkshadow...Malcolm McDowell
- Mayor Joe Carrington... Richard Lynch
- Putties... the current cast of Saturday Night Live
Power Rangers' parents
- Tommy's mom... Ellie Cornell
- Tommy's dad... Bradford English
- Zack's father... Ken Foree
- Billy's father... Harold Ramis
Other supporting characters
- Bulk and Skull... these guys!
- CNN talk-show host... Spike Feresten
- Stereotypical people you see on CNN all the time... Actors who usually play stereotypical people you see on CNN all the time
- Sanitarium patient... Rick "Endless Mike" Gomez
- Sanitarium doctors... Paul Freeman and Charles Cyphers
Though little is actually known about the plot, it will be a dark retelling of the pilot episode, "The Day Five Teenagers Started Wearing Ridiculous Costumes."
Zordon (Anthony Hopkins) and Alpha (himself, though he is rumored to be played by Ian McKellen as this scene suggests) imprison Rita Repulsa (Anjelica Huston, Britney Spears) and Lord Zedd (Gary Oldman) in a dumpster for 10,000 years and send them to the Moon. Zordon and Alpha relocate to Earth and when the two evil villains escape, Zordon and Alpha recruit a team of drunk teenagers to form a team of superheroes called the Power Rangers. They meet the Putties (Themselves) and Goldar (William Shatner), and battle an evil giant monster named John Goodman. After the big climax at the end of the movie, the Rangers save the day and Zordon EATS THE RANGERS!!! Nobody exactly knows why Zordon eats them, but Michael Moore suggests that it was Michael Bay's sick humor, poking fun of the fact that Hannibal Lecter was playing Zordon.
Then everything gets extremely sexy during the credits after everyone leaves and Britney Spears accidentally shows her goodies again. Executive producer Steven Spielberg hasn't confirmed whether or not this scene will make the final cut. "At the end of the day, it's still a Disney movie. Then again, Disney gave us a version of 1984 by George Orwell. So... you never know."
The film, which is currently titled Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, sparked a major controversy when Bay decided to insert 1970s flashbacks in which Zordon is younger and portrayed as a long-and-shaggy-haired, bearded, sunglasses-wearing hippie. This angered many, many purist fans of the show, who very much prefer Zordon as an alert, old, bald, baritone-voice inter-dimensional being. Fans threatened to boycott the movie if Bay didn't correct his mistake. Feeling the pressure, Bay scrapped the hippie idea and settled on a Zordon who looks exactly like the present-day Zordon, except for a mustache. Luckily, nobody made a fuss about the mustahce, except for Robert Loggia, but who cares what Robert Loggia thinks?
Bay says that he will use the hippie Zordon in the Unrated Director's Cut now that the fuss has died down.
Goldar will no longer be played by Kane Hodder nor William Shatner. Michael Bay has chosen Ron "Hellboy" Perlman to take on the iconic villain. Also the characters meant to be played by Corey Haim & Feldman will now be played by Kenan and Kel. Their characters are named Dexter and Ed.
On January 18, 2009, a complete makeover was given to Rita. She was changed to a sexy villainess with purple hair, a sexy purple outfit, purple eyeshadow, purple lipstick, and yellowish teeth. Bay said that the change was "necessary in order to write the character better and make her less cheesy." Anjelica Huston has bneen replaced by Kristin Chenoweth, though Ellen Green was considered at one point. Fan reaction is not yet known at this time.
While he was at it, Michael Bay also changed gave face lifts to two other popular villains -- Goldar and Finster. It has been rumored that Ron Pearlman has been dropped in favor of Linda Blair, though this has not been confirmed; others believe Danny Trejo will play the part. Fan reaction is not yet known on the re-imagined villains.
Another popular character who has recently been redesigned is Green Ranger Tommy Oliver, a fan favorite. His costume will be made out of satin, much for faithful to the costumes worn by such legendary superheroes as Peter Billingsley.
The other Rangers have been updated in the same fashion as well, with the help of costume designer Joel Schumacher.
Also updated during this time, The Putties have gotten a complete makeover and are more terrifying than ever before.
Conceptual work has been completed on the 1970s Rangers, take a gander at the image below.
Although there's not much new development, Ennio Morricone has been a name thrown into the hat for composer. Also, the new White Ranger costume (for the third film, simple titled The White Ranger) is hot off the presses (June 10, 2010).
It is believed that the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers reboot/remake movie may possibly be cursed. So far, there have been a few strange happenings that may or may not be related to this project (directly or indirectly):
- March 25, 2008
- April Fool's Day, a horror remake starring Scout-Taylor Compton, goes straight to video, and even got scathing reviews.
- Some asshole cuts off Ed Asner in traffic.
- May 10, 2008
- August 4, 2008
- Morgan Freeman is seriously injured in a car accident. Not too long afterwards, he and his wife divorced.
- Goldar mistakenly drinks prune juice just before a crucial scene, and spends the whole day in the bathroom.
- September 1, 2008
- Don LaFontaine, an early non-serious candidate for Zordon, dies at the age of 68.
- Anthony Hopkins gets another speeding ticket on his way to court to dispute the previous ticket.
- October 30, 2008
- Despite the overwhelming ratings spike of 6.64 million viewers from October 29's episode of Pushing Daisies, "Dim Sum, Lose Some," the show is put on a two-week hiatus. Daeg Faerch guest starred in this episode.
- Alpha 5 stubs his toe and needs an understudy. Michael Bay later stubs his toe as well, and gives everybody a paid day off.
- November 19, 2008
- Pushing Daisies returns to season-low ratings, in a season with extremely low ratings to begin with. The show's fate remains uncertain.
- November 21, 2008
- Pushing Daisies is canceled. The show co-starred Ellen Greene and Kristin Chenoweth, who were both in the running for Rita Repulsa. PF4Eva currently has Chenoweth on his cast wish list. Daeg Faerch guest starred in two episodes, one on October 29, and the other on December 3.
- Lord Zedd is fired from being the President of ABC, due to canceling Daisies. He is quickly replaced by the arrogant asshole Steve McPhereson.
- March 3, 2009
- Faerch is let go from reprising his role as Young Michael Myers in Rob Zombie's Halloween sequel, H2, due to his "increased height." "Daeg is not a little boy anymore," says Zombie, "He is a teenager with a deep voice." Faerch had been filming on location in Georgia for a week at the time of his exit. His hundreds of thousands of fans had hoped to see Daeg as a teenage Michael Myers or a 10-year-old Myers via special effects wizardry, a la turning Brad Pitt into that Benjamin Button baby.
- March 24, 2009
- IMDb mysteriously wipes out a certain user's entire posting history, including the long-lived MMPR movie remake thread, which lasted May 20, 2007 - March 17, 2009 and made it up to 32 pages of content. Subsequent threads and/or posts pertaining to the project have also been deleted by IMDb administrators for unknown reasons.
- Bay's computer starts going on the fritz, pulling an on-again/off-again start/won't start habit that has been annoying him.
- April 7, 2009
- Bay's computer breaks and dies, but he's hoping that $100 will help save this project's files on that computer from extinction. The project is currently stalled until the files can be transfered to a new computer.
- April 9-10, 2009
- Michael Bay thankfully saved some of his files to disc. He prints out 29 pages of the Unrated screenplay and fixes things that need fixing. He changes the font to 12 pt. Courier font and removes bold and Italics to comply with screenplay etiquette.
- Unfortunately, five seconds later Bay was fired and replaced by Rob Zombie, having no idea that Zombie has just dismissed Daeg Faerch from H2. Zombie declined, stating that he was still busy with H2, and that "even if I did do this film, I think Daeg is way too tall to play Tommy. Tommy should only be 3 feet tall, because wasn't Jason David Frank 3 feet tall? If not, then he should have been." These comments immediately earned Zombie a spot on the "Banned for Life" list of banned Power Rangers auteurs.
- Disney is not willing to let Daeg go, because to replace him with some other kid would be too risky. "We're not making the same mistake Rob Zombie did," says Robert Iger.
- It is currently unknown who will helm the project from here on out, but rumor has it that the project is now in the hands of some random guy off the street who has plenty of experience writing scripts and acting experience. He is rumored to have said, "I'm gonna unleash a vision like you've never seen before. It's time to re-morph... redefine... reinvent... Power Rangers."
- May 10, 2010
- After over an entire year without any reports on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers reboot, multiple reports from unreliable sources claim that Haim Saban of Saban Entertainment the original producer of 1993's hit series The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and it's multiple sequels and spin off series including Power Rangers Zeo, VR Troopers, and Big Bad Beatle Borgs have recently bought back the rights to the franchise after selling the franchise to well known slave drivers and communist known as Disney Corporation. There was no mention of plans for the halted reboot motion picture and or the series.
- May 12, 2010 Two days after the buyback of the Power Rangers franchise, Haim Saban finally made an official statement regarding the feature film that filming had been halted over one year ago. "Right now, yes we still want to produce a reboot of the Power Ranger franchise starting off with a feature film and then hopefully spawn an other hit series of similar standards and success of the first three seasons and first feature film." When asked if they would pick up where Disney abandoned the "cursed project". Haim smirked and responded. "We all know Disney is Satan's bitch company, they took it up the behind and failed miserably prison style, they turned the franchise into a bloody mess and the Hannah Montana crossover put the final stake into the casket for the Disney version of the Power Rangers. We plan on starting off fresh, with new sets and an entire overhaul of casting and production no one will be held on. As for script and storyline? We plan on either having a complete redo of the original series or doing a Where are they now sort of feel. Old team coming back to save the world while also making way for a new younger fresh team."
- May 16, 2010 Multiple unreliable sources have reported that Joss Whedon self proclaimed God creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly cult series and rumored director of The Avengers film has been offered and signed on as script writer and director for the Power Rangers reboot film. When question on whether or not this was true Whedon simply cursed his life asked the reporter if they wanted to see his other hockey playoff beard and exposed himself to the reporters dislike while screaming profusely "Are you happy now!? Slayer!" Shortly later Whedon was found and arrested wearing an helmet made of what he claimed to be David Boreanaz feces. After an extensive DNA test of the feces it was not indeed Boreanaz's but was Nicholas Brendons dated as far back as the year 1999.
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