Moss Side

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Moss Side is a place in Madchester or, as some like to say, Manchester. It is a terrible place to live or even just drive through. Gang culture has a strong influence in Moss Side and many violent attacks have taken place here both on innocent by-standers and other so-called 'gangsters'. Some of the people living here like to think they live in downtown Los Angeles...but really its just Manchester, so it's much than that.

Facts and Figures[edit]

  • FACT - In Moss Side, if you walk from one end of the high street to the other at 11:00pm there is an 87% chance you will be attacked and there is a 60% chance that this attack will involve a gun or knife.
High Street what High Street?
  • FACT - 8/10 people who live in Moss Side have been or still are on drugs.
  • FACT - The average person in Moss Side has mugged at least seven people
  • FACT - The average resident of Moss Side has killed 10 people, five by gunshot, and the other five with their bare hands.
  • FACT - Even tramps are scared to beg in Moss Side.
  • FACT - Moss Side is the result of a bad nuclear accident.
  • FACT - Upon entering Moss Side Tourists are given free guns to protect themselves, these rarely work, as Moss Sideians can stop a bullet with their bare hands.
  • FACT - Moss Side residents are all inbread.
  • ALMOST FACT - If you drive through Moss Side in anything more expensive than a Vauxhall Nova (1980 version, of course!) you will have your tyres slashed or set on fire, your windows smashed and your wallet stolen.

Famous Inhabitants[edit]

Famous people who were born or lived in Moss Side include;

Wierd Rumours[edit]

Apparantly, a long, long time ago, Moss Side was actually a nice place to live. It was pretty and there were no dead bodies in every wheely bin on the street. People didn't shoot you when you picked a fiver out your pocket and the standard dress code didn't include Nike TN's.

...It's a nice thought. But i hardly think that it's true.