Moss Side is a place in Madchester or, as some like to say, Manchester. It is a terrible place to live or even just drive through. Gang culture has a strong influence in Moss Side and many violent attacks have taken place here both on innocent by-standers and other so-called 'gangsters'. Some of the people living here like to think they live in downtown Los Angeles...but really its just Manchester, so it's much than that.
Facts and Figures
- FACT - In Moss Side, if you walk from one end of the high street to the other at 11:00pm there is an 87% chance you will be attacked and there is a 60% chance that this attack will involve a gun or knife.
- High Street what High Street?
- FACT - 8/10 people who live in Moss Side have been or still are on drugs.
- FACT - The average person in Moss Side has mugged at least seven people
- FACT - The average resident of Moss Side has killed 10 people, five by gunshot, and the other five with their bare hands.
- FACT - Even tramps are scared to beg in Moss Side.
- FACT - Moss Side is the result of a bad nuclear accident.
- FACT - Upon entering Moss Side Tourists are given free guns to protect themselves, these rarely work, as Moss Sideians can stop a bullet with their bare hands.
- FACT - Moss Side residents are all inbread.
- ALMOST FACT - If you drive through Moss Side in anything more expensive than a Vauxhall Nova (1980 version, of course!) you will have your tyres slashed or set on fire, your windows smashed and your wallet stolen.
Famous people who were born or lived in Moss Side include;
- Barry Manilow
- HRH The Queen
- Elvis Presley
- DJ 360
- Cilla Black (was born in the street)
- Bill Gates
- Kermit the Frog
Apparantly, a long, long time ago, Moss Side was actually a nice place to live. It was pretty and there were no dead bodies in every wheely bin on the street. People didn't shoot you when you picked a fiver out your pocket and the standard dress code didn't include Nike TN's.
...It's a nice thought. But i hardly think that it's true.