Mount Rushmore

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Mount Rushhmore posing for a picture while on vacation

“They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Mt. Rushmore

One of the Nine Wonders of the World Mount Rushmore is a true natural wonder.

Located in the vibrant Netherlands, centuries of erosion have naturally carved into a mountainside the faces of Steven Jobs, Richard Nixon, Judge Judy, and Abe Lincoln.

There is much debate about who is actually represented on the mountain itself, as no matter the amount of skill the stone mason has, the result will always resemble four white people at a party. Therefore we will allow for conflicting facts in this article.


Mount Ruhsmore is a natural formation that originally resembled The Jackson Five. Strangely, the mountain maintained the image of the group through out the years. The familiar faces on the mountain that we see today occurred when Micheal convinced his brothers to attend the annual "Plastic America" convention of that year. Amazingly, the mountain molded itself to what we see today, but could not follow the radical transformation of MJ, resulting in his face falling off. Later on, seeing as the mountain now looked like four white guys having a party, the Bush Administration decided to re-write it's history to include some guy called Gutzon Borglum and something else about former presidents.

In some alternate Univers, zounds of zealous uncyclopedians had Oscar Wilde carved into Mt. Rushmore.

Famously, Jimbo Wales had sex with a naked women named Ashley Tisdale in a port-o-potty atop James Madison's brow. Mr. T then opted to push the port-o-potty down the side of the mountain, until it exploded in the gap between Van Buren's incisors.


In 2005 George W. Bush controversially commissioned a portrait of Carrot Top to be artificially added to the monument. Explaining his decision, Bush said, "He's the most charismatic and intelligent commedian ever. He makes me laugh. Even though I don't get any of his jokes.".

It seems likely that public outcry will cause the monument's newest addition to be removed in the near future.

As you can see, Mount Rushmore clearly has no heads. This is considered to be one of the biggest coverup's of the U.S. Government in history

Similar works[edit]

Curiously, Leonardo Da Vinci made a similar sculpture in 1906 that was recently discovered in Holland. It gets more tourists than Silver Dollar City, Gold Dollar City, the Hemp Fields of Texas, The Budwiser Brewery, Carhenge and Custer Battle field a year.It has the portraits of Ronald McDonald,Kermit the Frog,King Kong,and Garfield

See also[edit]