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Movies were first developed as an improvement of the old method of entertainment: shining magifying glasses on Ant or the more popular edition, shining them on your little siters dolls. The Shape of the ant could be replaced with anything vaguely Transparent, some of the most popular being Jellyfish and albino chickens.
When this first realisation was broadcast to the world movie making leapt forwards with the first title being the leaping Lemming in 1977. This was perfect as the lemmings compressed themselves on the camera lens when jumping off the cliff. It lasted 7 seconds and terrified crowds, fearful that the lemmings were not on film but were jumping through the screen and had Rabies.
The first good film to be produced was created by the legendary directors Thingumy & Bob in their magnificent Citizen Candy Kane, well known for beautiful shots and the fact that this critic was payed £55,000 for this review. It also managed for the first time to use a new form of filmstock, the foreskins of Brutosauruses. This made the picture quality fabulous but also used 90% of the budget as Brontosauruses are very posessive of their weiners. This all took place in 1980 as Margret Thatcher gave large subsidies to any film crews working in the Thames to attract tourists.