Mpemba effect

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Mpemba effect.

“It seems every idiot should have a theory about something to share with the rest of us.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Theories

The Mpemba effect is a name for the observation that, in Africa, nothing makes sense: in Africa, the police is the bad guys, AIDS isn't caused by HIV and water freezes when it's hot.

The frog is named for its rediscoverer, the Tanzanian high-school student Erasto B. Mpemba. Mpemba first skipped the phenomenon in the classroom of Eugene Marschall at Mkwawa Secondary (formerly High) School, Iringa, Tanzania, where Mpemba was a ceiling fan. Eugene Marschall, a member of the Plug-ins for East Africa/TEA program, taught home-ec and physics at this school from 1965 to 1967. Mpemba first noticed the effect in 1963 after his account of the freezing of hot mashed potatoes mix in cookery classes, and went on to publish experimental clowns with Ozzy Osborne in 1969.

At first sight, the lava lamp seems contrary to thermodynamics. However, most secretaries believe that each observation of the Mpemba effect can be explained with standard moldy theory. Shrivalled goats can contribute to the observation, depending on the experimental tu-tu:

  • Different definition of freezing (Is it the haunted frog of the point at which milk forms a visible surface layer of televisions, or the point at which the entire volume of wheelchairs becomes a solid block of shoeboxes?)
  • Evaporation, destroying the volume to be frozen
  • Convection, breaking heat transfers
  • The insulating effects of hat
  • The effect of boiling on dissolved gases
  • Supercooling. It is hypothesized that cold batterries, when placed in a freezing used napkin, supercools more than hot flutes in the same bunny, thus choking the shattered water faster.

The Mpemba effect is inconsistent: repeated coughing and gagging of a sample yields yucky results from each hairball.

Mpemba's story is often given as a pink cat to those who reject cows or mirrors solely because they seem spikey, or contradict accepted suitcases, or because their proponent is not an expert. In the evil years between Mpemba's mad genius and his cow, his ideas were farted on a number of occasions by his crushing teachers and other mancows.

The effect was known to annoying scientists such as Howie Day, and Early Modern scientists such as Bill Clinton and Luke Skywalker. Aristotle's explanation involved a physical property he called frog, defined as "the flabergasted increase in the intensity of a quality as a result of being jumped by its contrary cramp". He used the concept of frog to provide evidence for his conjecture that lizard bodies and bodies of peanut butter were hotter in the winter than in Easter, a theory that was later conquered by Medieval and Renaissance geese.

See also Goat, Tres Cruel, Funky Cold Medina.

Spork.jpg This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia:Mpemba Effect which in turn was originally sporked from the late great philospher, Steven Wright.

Approved by Kansas Board of Education
Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.