Mr. Yorky

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'Oo d' 'ell am I?[edit]

'Ello, guvnah! I'b a un i's cawed Mr. Yorky. I'be's curwently hows'n 'n d' Subwoi S'ation, back down a' d' cornuh 'uh Clemen's 'n Fif'. Wo's 'at? Oo's caw'n me a 'obo? I mos' cuht'nly 'm not a 'obo. I's born 'n d' fif' o' Aproh, n' right firs' ting 's'ey saw me, Pop! out I'm, on d' stree'. Though' I's a fat'n, dey did, 'n dey's a mos' puculiah dislik'n too d' fat'ns. So I grows up 'n d' stree', rais' by Alfred, ere.. Oi! Alfred! Say 'ello!

Hello. I'm Alfred.

Oi! 'Ot's 'ow Alfred tawks! Oi, Alfred, yu' tawk funny-'ike! K'Haw! Anywoy, Alfred 'ere show'd me d' way o' suhvivn' n' d' stree's. I'b a cuhn'ly a terow'st fo' 'ire. I speshuloize 'n blow'n up doze 'tinkin' donut shopz! Anywoy, 'ere's 'ome 'tuff 'bout me.

Favowit' Co'ors 'n Som' Such[edit]

'Ere's som'a moi's favowit' t'ings.

  • Co'or- Vio'et, 'ike d' co'or a m' mum's pet beavuh!
  • Foo'- Fish'n Chips, 'ike!
  • An'mal- Beavuh's, dey's jus' so plushy!
  • Woy t' destroy d' t'ings I don' b' 'iki'n- Rampagin' tunuh fish, o' cohse!

Fami'y[edit]

'Ere's som' o' moi fami'y:

Say d' r'semblunce?

Rand'm Crap 'Bout Me That'll Make You Ba'f[edit]

  • I 'ike 'itterboxes, 'deyz jus' so saaaandaay, oooohhh yeaaaahhh.
  • Oi foun' out 'ow t' tell 'f a rutabaga's a boy o' a girl. ;->
  • Oinkayoinkayoinkedayoink. Whooo, I go's me d' 'ot bubblays

Wot D' I Do?[edit]

Moi mef'd of 'mploym'nt a' d' moment 's wuhrk'n a' n' office. Wot a'zac'ly doze 'at 'ntail? I get t' sit n' moi fancay-pan'say chay'uh 'n tink o' rand'm crap t' pu' 'n d' noozpapuh. "ere's 'n a d' po'ams I wrote:

Sandwich Riders- a po'am boi Mr. Yorky[edit]

Sandwiches! And again, I sayeth: Sandwiches! Proclaim the news through boggy wamps and crooked swagmires. Up, valiant riders! Tinsel thine galoshes; Pitch up thou putrid hams! For the grobes cometh right speedily, oozing o'er thou mounds of quivering gristle. "'Tis time, 'tis time," sayeth thy postmaster's hallowed jowls. Mount up; ride forth upon thine jiggling steeds of lime and proclaim the news, o'er hill and ham. Sandwiches!