Muddle Earth

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Muddle Earth is a book by J.R.R. Tolkien. Is is about a boy called Joe Joerson, who gets dragged off by a wizard named Gandalf- I mean Randalf (Gandalf has nothing to do with this book, honest. Ahem). Randalf cast the only spell he knows, and forced Joe into the realm of Middl- Muddle Earth. The bird Veronica annoys Randalf, but always shuts up when he threatens to shut her in his Sock-Drawer


Joe Joey Joe Joe Joerson - The brat who is dragged through a bush by his pet turtle into Muddle Earth. He keeps saying he wants to go home, even though he keeps being told nobody knows how to send him back.

Norbert the Huge Stompy Ogre - The nervous ranger, mostly knowen as 'Stomper', but nobody knows why.

Henry the Very Very Slow - The 'hero' Randalf summoned, Joe's pet turtle. Joe only got dragged into Muddle Earth because, for some reason, he couldn't stop the turtle.

Margot the Large Fire-Breather - Has pointy ears and has mastered the use of a bow. Gets called 'Legless' due to her stubby legs. Also happens to be a dragon.

Radalf the Large - A fat stubby little wizard who only knows one spell. He shows of the fact that he is the top wizard of Muddle Earth (Only because he turned all the other wizards into fluffy bunnies and released them into the wild. His secret mission is to take Veronica to Mount Doo- Boom and throw her in, thus ending all her bad sarcasim and awful jokes).

The cover was often desribed 'Just a little bit really awful'.

The Evil Horned Baron - He dumps Ingrid's old radioactive stuff in Elfwood. He also created Veronica at Mount Boom.. Wow, he is really evil.

Veronica - Created by The Horned Baron, The Veronica Project (Project 334) was designed to use bad sarcasim and awful jokes to annoy everybody in the world. Only the over-powering smell of Randalf's socks is enough to stop her.

Annoying-Little-Goblin-Who-Appears-At-The-Start-Of-Chapters - 'nuff said.

Radioactive Bunny Rabbits - The wizards who were transformed by Randalf. They were made radioactive by Ingrid's old stuff. Yes, their big, their nasty, and their out for revenge, bwhahahahaha!

Small-teaspoon-Who-Got-Added-By-The-Author-To-Fill-Up-Space - Shoot on sight.

The cover for Muddle Earth 2 was said to be even worse.

Ingrid - The Horned Baron's fussy wife. Hates everything and is never happy about anything.


Spoiler may follow: EVIL BAD GUY DOSEN'T WIN IN THE END. You have been warned.

The story is that Randalf must rescue his teddy-bear from the evil Dr. Cuddles, who has kidnapped every teddy ever. Nobody really cares, they just bought new ones. Randalf, however, must have his bear back. But still remains more concerned about how to get Veronica to Mount Boom. In the end they all travel to Gonk Glade and rescue the teddies, thus saving everybody. What a surprise, I bet you didn't see that one coming.

But their journey takes them to the armour store, The Horned Baron's evil castle beside Mount Boom, and a suspicous diner called McPlastics, so they all had a good time.

(Randalf never did get Veronica to Mount Boom).