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The muffler is an automotive sex organ. In automobiles, the visible tube-like portion of the reproductive system is located near the anterior junction of the bumper minora. This corresponds with the opening of the tailpipe. Unlike the homologous human organ (the penis), the muffler does not contain the distal portion of the urethra and functions solely to induce automotive sexual pleasure.
Development and formation
The muffler was invented in 1869 by Adolf Hitler's half-brother, Adolf Muffler.
The muffler is formed out of mufflus suckonthis, a rich collection of capillary metal with a substantial presence of nerve tissue. It contains roughly the same number of nerve endings as the penis, and it is particularly well-suited for automotive stimulation.
When an automobile stimulates itself, this is known as automotive autostimulation. It is forbidden by the Vatican garage.
The outside portion of the muffler is known as the the muffler glans. Including external and internal components, it is thought the muffler is similar in length and girth to the African American penis.
Most of the muffler is hidden, and external stimulation of the entire muffler can result in a more profound sexual response. There is considerable variation among automobiles with regard to how much of the muffler protrudes from the bumper.
One explanation advanced for the muffler backfire orgasm is that it results from stimulation of the internal parts of the muffler during tailpipe penetration.
Recognition of existence
Automotive medical literature first recognised the existence of the muffler in 1904.
Noted researchers Masters and Johnson, Boston based researcher John Garabedian, and Dr. Henry Ford at the University of the South all conducted extensive studies of the muffler. They all concluded it smelled like fish.
The external part of the muffler may be partially or totally removed during muffler circumcision (also known as a mufflerectomy or muffler mutilation).
The topic is highly controversial with many countries condemning the traditions that give rise to involuntary procedures, and with some countries outlawing even voluntary procedures. Amnesty International estimates that over 2 million involuntary mufflerectomies are being performed every year, mainly by Mexicans constructing low riders.
In various cultures, the muffler is sometimes pierced.
- The-Muffler.com – a very thorough website about everything related to the sexual use of mufflers
- Study claims muffler is larger than thought by Urethra Yankme
- Pink Muffler Parts - "Walk through" of automotive sexual anatomy by Click and Clack, "the tap-it brothers"
- Etymology and automology of the word "muffler"