Murray The Demonic Talking Skull
“Can I call you ‘Bob’?”
“You may call me ‘Murray’! I am a powerful demonic force! I am the harbinger of your doom! And the forces of darkness will applaud me as I stride through the Gates of Hell – carrying your head on a pike!”
“All right then, roll! Roll through the Gates of Hell! Must you take the fun out of everything?”
Murray The Demonic Talking Skull (born Murray The Demonic Not Yet Talking Baby January 666 year 666 at 6.00,66) is a demonic talking skull (I'm gonna make a hell of a lot gags based on that fact), writer, activist and juggler known for his charismatic behaviour and humanitarian efforts.
Early life of Murray The Demonic Talking Skull
Murray The Demonic Talking Skull was born in a small town in the north-western parts of Minnesota. His parental figures were Betty and George The Demonic Talking Skull, both being of Swedish ancestry. Due his ancestry Murray The Demonic Talking Skull quickly became an evil atheist without a soul. In fact, it was in a epic battle against GOD Murray The Demonic Talking Skull lost all of his skin and meat. It was actually really fucking cool and had a lot of explosions. I would show you a drawing but I lost my crayons, but it was like *BAAOHM*, *BOOM*, RAAAOR!, WROAM, WRHOOOM!. Murray The Demonic Talking Skull did loose the battle against God, mostly 'cause God had hired Jesus on his side, and that was pretty unfair. After these epic events Murray The Demonic Talking Skull went into a depression containing whores, alcohol and a huge amount of sex (how he did the act we all know as sex is a mystery, seeing as he lost his penis).
Murray The Demonic Talking Skull's years as a rapscallion
After his depression Murray The Demonic Talking Skull started to write his biographical novel titled; "My Life As A Demonic Talking Skull Without A Point In Life". It came to be evilishly pirated on the web, which in turn was a huge shock for Murray The Demonic Talking Skull. In order to avenge the online pirates transported himself down to hell and came up with a deal with a devil that would consider his deal with his superior and his superior would talk to his board of really evil, but not quite Satan-esque demons that would decide whether or not to present this deal to Satan. Well, they did. So, Mr. Satan and Murray The Demonic Skull decided that Murray The Demonic Talking Skull would be sent over to work for the evil "LeChuck", a pirate with a agenda of destroying the average pirate Guybrush Threepwood. When he finally got to fight his arch enemy Guybrush Threepwood he was killed in a bloody fucking damn epic battle. I still don't have my crayons with me, but it was like *BOOM*, WRAAHOM, KABOOM, DIE MOTHERFUCKER, NEVER!, WRAAOHRG!.
After these events we don't know what happened to Murray The Demonic Talking Skull. Well, you may claim that the events of Monkey Island 3 and 4 would narrate just this, but those are both fictional video games and should not be considered factual. If you indeed claim that the events of Monkey Island 3 and 4 justifies as possible "parts" of his life and that the reason why this author doesn't include them is based on laziness are up for discussion.