Musical Movie 2

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  • High School Musicals' worst nightmare
Writer Karl Marx
Producer Josef Stalin
Director Josef Stalin
Runtime Eighty (80) minutes
Language English
Distributed by PBS
IMDb rating

Musical Movie 2 is the bullshit 2016 sequel to Musical Movie, and is a sequel only in name, as no characters, locations or lawsuits are reprised from the first movie.


The movie opens in the town of Commieville, Conneticut, where three spoiled girls are showing off at the mall. The three are Veronica Elastic (Lindsay Lohan), Marion Hornybitch (Paris Hilton) and Diane Flowerpot (Cameron Diaz).

The trio are arrested by a mall cop (Adolf Hitler in a cameo), who sends them back to Commieville High School after discovering that they are skipping school. The girls reluctantly return to the school, but go into the canteen instead of class.

In the canteen, they meet three foreign exchane students: Dmitri Fokov from Russia (Knuckles the Echidna), Ni Pul from Japan (Jackie Chan), and Horatio Brown from Great Britain (Winston Churchill). The girls, in song, admit to loving the three on the spot; Veronica fancies Dmitri, Marion prefers Ni Pul and Diane favours Horatio.

Over the coming days, the six losers begin to grow attached to one another, going to the beach on weekends in the pouring rain, pickpocketting in the video arcade and having wild orgies in the school library. The boys return the love of the girls in song, admitting that they had not expected America to be so welcoming, especially as most foreigners are encouraged to use the suicide booths at airports.

Commieville High, as seen in Scenes 7 through to 205

One day, however, during a meeting with the Administrator Formerly Known as Principal (Prince), the six are expelled after it is discovered that a thug called Bully Bludgeon (Tom Cruise), has been videotaping their orgies in the Library and selling them as bootleg DVD's to diehard porn fans.

The Administrator Formerly Known as Principal (Prince) gets pissed...

Feeling dejected, the six twits sing about their sorrows in an alleyway drinking cheap Scotch and making love with used condoms. Fokov, on the other hand, refuses to be beaten, and raises his friend's hopes in song, encouraging them to dig up dirt on Bully Bludgeon.

Returning to Commieville High after dark, Ni Pul breaks into the security office and steals some security footage, which the gang test out in a video player in the AV room. There they find that Bully is a stickler for tidiness in the Library, and they find footage of him secretly straightening books on bookshelves, a crime punishable by death in Commieville.

The next day, Veronica, Dmitri and Horatio confront Bully with the footage while Diane, Ni Pul and Marion consult the Administrator Formerly Known as Principal. Bully is exposed for what he is (IE: a bloody little cheat) and is hauled away by the Mall Cop. The six are pardoned and return to school, feeling proud of what they've done: ruin the life of a hopeful potato farmer.

Five years later, the six have started their own music group, and they end with the movie with their own new routine:

UnCritical Reaction[edit]

Because there was only a one-week gap between Musical Movie and Musical Movie 2 in theaters, many critics were quick to blast it barely five seconds before the premiere. Roger Ebert and Your Mom jointly wrote a scathing review for Movies, Martyrs, and Madmen, in which they said:

...The boys were obviously keen to get a sequel out to quickly cash in on the first movie...trouble is, it's no different from the first movie except for a few more gratuitous sex scenes and Tom Cruise getting his own song...just goes to show you how desperate people are these days...

Musical Movie 2 made a total $2,567,945,567,238,451,335,537,225,000,000,000,000,000 worldwide, but only because nobody listens to movie critics anymore. Despite this considerable profit, however, PBS and Josef Stalin have not made a Musical Movie 3, instead focussing on other movie franchises such as Scary Movie, Date Movie and the (un)popular-if-mundane Cartoon Movie.

Full Cast[edit]

Movies Spoofed[edit]

  • Popeye - Incoherent songs you can't understand without the subtitles on
  • Grease 2 - Really crap sequel with nothing to do with first movie
  • Scary Movie 3 - This movie also features a trio of sexually potent women
  • Shock Treatment - Nobody knows what the hell is going on, not even the director
  • Titanic - The setting of Commieville features countless references to this movie


  • In the Mall (1:37) - Lohan, Hilton, and Diaz
  • Commieville High (3:06) - PBS Orchestra and Choir
  • Three Foreign Boys (2:53) - Lohan, Hilton, and Diaz
  • Knees Up (3:39) - Arthur Hodgeson and the Kneecaps
  • Love Crazy (2:48) - Knuckles, Chan, and Churchill
  • In the Dumps (1:37) - Lohan, Hilton, and Diaz
  • Bully's Dirty Little Secret (3:01) - Lohan, Hilton, Diaz, Knuckles, Chan, and Churchill
  • Nice Video, Shame about the Song (2:49) - Entire cast