My 'E', 'P' and 'A' keys are going to fall off

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I don't want to alarm you or anything, but my E, P, and A keys are going to fall off. Oh, buggr, thr thy go. Look, I'v lost my , nd kys, nd thy r th ons I nd most. My S ky is looking bd too. Oh, hit, thr it go wll. Right, I'm going to hv to work round thi. Com to think of it, ll my ky r looking bit wobbly. Right, hr go.

My M, L nd N ky r flling off[edit]

Thr thy go. OK, I goig to t you why I d th ky. i th ot coo ttr of th lhbt. i prtty iortt w. o word r coptly obcurd.

y O, T nd y ubr r fig off[edit]

H h g w. I hkig f bdig h ric ghr. yb. I' kp wrig, v hugh yu c hrdy rd.

y F, Y, D, R, G d I hv ju w[edit]

h, h cp. h v c w p % h. h c.

v ju![edit]