My name is Asher Lev

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My Name is Asher Lev is the story of neo-Nazi Hasidim in America in the late twenty fifth century B.C.. This story has widely been regarded as one of hope, compassion and orange juice. The characters are deep, pan-dimensional, and opaque. The book has been called "The most definitive version of mainstream American culture ever produced." We here at BishCushBook reviews believe this to not only be true, but that this book should be a bible for all to abide by. This book also contains the answer to all the problems in the universe, as demonstrated by a simple mathematical equation which correlates dissappointment to the vitaminosity of the singularly tasty beverage, orange juice.

Asher Lev, the character, the jew[edit]

Asher Lev is a Hasidim living in New York City in the late twenty fifth century. Asher decides to defy his family by becoming a gay porn star and making erotic body paintings with his penis on the walls of his apartment. Asher's artistic climax is when he paints a picture of his mother being crucified on the crossed penii of himself and his father, both of whom she had screwed royally. After painting this picture Asher moves to Europe in order to pursue his other loves; interpretive dance and Kitten Huffing. Asher finally dies in an unfortunate Kitten Huffing accident.

"He turned off the light. 'Let me hear your Krias Shema.' I recited the Krias Shema. He kissed me and started slowly from the room... It's too hard to work with...He was huge... I lay in bed and...urinated.My father stood near the window, swaying back and forth." (Potok 33)

Orange Juice and Jews[edit]

Orange juice is necessary for keeping any and all Jews alive in America, where latakas are illegal in most states. Jews must be very careful to drink their orange juice quickly, lest their fathers become disappointed and the vitamins escape. In the book this happened quite frequently. It seems that every time the title character, Asher Lev, sat to breakfast he was given orange juice. Since Asher Lev's father was always disappointed in him at breakfast the Orange juice always escaped quickly.

The Eating of the Jews[edit]

This book is clearly disproved by the observations of Saint Aardvark the Carpeted whom clearly states that the Jews must be eaten, and that by the time this book takes place there will be none left. Saint Aardvark was promptly smitten by clown Hitler for beating him to the punchline of Jew Slaughter.


  During the Great Tribulation, broiled Jews may be on the menu at
  Denny's and the Lion's House, or they may be eaten raw at witch's
  gatherings and at meetings of the New World Order and the United
  Nations.

  Next time you meet a Jew, be he Zionist or old world blood-line Jew,
  ask yourself if you really care.  Can you see that Jew roasted and
  served up at the local Burger King, or can you imagine going to the
  supermarket and in the meat case reading the label on the meat cut,
  "Filet of Jew.  Certified Prime by the USDA and the Vatican."   How
  about, "Blood sausage-- 50% Jew and 50% Arab?"  THINK.  Why won't you
  give them the Gospel NOW?

As you can see the Jews are meant to be eaten, and Asher Lev could not exist. As this may be the case it does not completely discredit this work of obvious non fiction as Asher Lev may be Kevin Bacon.

Citations[edit]

The Bible, by God, dawn of time

My Name is Asher Lev; book by Chaim Potok

The Kitten Huffer's Dance; Book by This Guy

www.Saintaardvarkthecarpeted.com/ Website, by Saint Aardvark.

Nectar In a Steve- Book by Godzilla

Grape Expectorations- Book By Sheniqua Hans Ping Wu McFadden