Nadia Russ

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Nadia Russ's Neopoprealism artwork "Aces & Faces".
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This wonderful masterpiece pictures unknoun young straight male dressed up in a woman clothes. Painting made during Nadia Russ's "Jacuzzi Under Moon Period" in Britain & now in the collection of Ukrainian Museum in NYC

Early Life[edit]

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Nadia Russ was one of the greatest writers, artists and quote-producers in the 21th Century. She born in a small stable outside Madchester. Born unto a Virgin, Nadia grew up in Salford, a suburb of Madchester. The early part of Nadia's life is sketchy at best. Growing up in such a rich family, Nadia had chance of going to university. She won a scholarship at the Janet Raeger School with a piece of fanky dance she had written himself, entitled 'Barren of Head, Barren of Heart'. Nadia graduated from university a year early.

Big Break (not that crap show presented by noted racist Jim Davidson, but close)[edit]

Her big break came in 1993 when Nadia was working in the BBC canteen as a chef. Her wise cracks were over-heard by an up-coming comedian Dustin Gee (Baby Jesus rest his soul). Dustin and Nadia soon hit it off and created a TV program based around Nadia's impression of Mavis off Coronation Street. The hot property that was Russ Abbott recognized the potential in the pair and asked them to join his 'off-the-wall' program. Flanked by such greats as Abbott and Bella Emberg, Nadia and Dustin knew they were onto a winner. All it would take was for one of them to die, Abbott had stipulated in the contract that only one of them was needed. It was then that Dustin decided to drop out of show business by dying.

New Heights[edit]

Nadia was free of the nightmare contract Dustin had forced her to sign. Nadia enjoyed a freedom she had never previously known. Abbott gave Nadia a free run on the programs script. The ratings soared and the program was moved from BBC Choice to BBC 2, then BBC 1, replacing Eastenders. Nadia had hit the big time. But just as things where going Nadia's way they hit rock bottom. Abbott had turned to crack in order to block out the media in-attention, especially with his marriage to former Page Three girl, Maria Whittaker. Abbott took his frustration out on his cast and Nadia. Abbott finally confessed to his paracetamol addiction after his marriage broke up. The BBC fired Abbott and his team. Nadia was jobless.

New Lows[edit]

In desperation Nadia took her old job in the canteen at the BBC. It wasn't long before Nadia's wise cracks cost her her job. Nadia had told Greg Dyke to stick his sausage 'up your fucking arse'. Nadia didn't realise that, at the time, Dyke was head of British television. Nadia was forced to live in skips and bins for three years.

Return to greatness[edit]

She felt she couldn't get any lower, then she met Amanda Holden.

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Holden helped Nadia get back onto her feet, as she had fallen on the pavement, then she fell in love with her. Nadia moved into Holdens digs in Tooting, the new Balam, the new Islington. Nadia was a straight gal. During this time she starred in several crap TV shows, namely her own show and something about sorting your mates out, or something. Oh Yeah, she was in Brookside once as well. Holden was good friends with ex-boozer Keith Chegwin. Cheggers had a word with his mate Dave Lee Travis and got Nadia a job presenting BBCs flagship 'Neopoprealism'.

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Now[edit]

Nadia hasn't looked back. She is currently the highest paid celebrity in Britain and worldwide. She has property worth more than the Queen and Princess Anne put together and is worth almost as much as Imelda Marcos. Nadia has also done much work in Neopoprealism, a fact she is very proud of, "I am very proud of my Neopoprealism work!" Nadia told this website. She started het own TV talk show and invited as partners Rosie O'Donnell, Paris Hilton, Jeff Koons, Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump with his steaks and 50 Cent. We say good luck in the future Nadia!

Nadia Russ's Quotes[edit]

"People make the rules and break the rules. But harmony is eternal."
"Some people have brains, other people money. Who is more funny? (Some people have both, it's the best!)"

Spork.jpg This page was originally sporked from http://www.angelfire.com/apes/lesdennis/, http://www.nadiaruss.com/ and http://neopoprealismjournal.wetpaint.com.