Neopian worlds

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This is about the regions in Neopia. For the planet see Neopia.'

“You should follow my advice, Neopets is a trap, don't read on...”

~ Admiral Ackerbar on seeing people come here after his article

“Goofy Gooferz!”

~ Adam on Dubya's likelihood
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Neopian worlds.

Neopian worlds are...well, world of neopets. Although how is that suppose to make sense? Neopia is a world by itself isn't it? Well, this is neopets we are talking about we remind you. A world created from the brain cell of Adam (proving vaccum has its uses) and is filled with geeks, nerd, hentai, catgirls, n00bs and hackers from across the globe. So in short, Neopian worlds are the smaller subdivisions of places you can visit in Neopets.

Unfortunately for the stick army, the Great Wall of N00bs could not be destroyed.

Western Neopia[edit]

Neopia Central[edit]

“No matter how big the stuff you encounter, it will always have a small worthless centre.”

~ Anonymous on Neopia
One of the many signs you'll expect to find in Neopia Central. Confusing and stupid.

Neopia Central, despite the name, is not at the center of neopets. This itself has become a major harassment subject for report by happy geeks, whose sole aim in life is to say 'o_0 u r a no0b, i pwns u 11!reporrteddd 1!!1' to 50,000 unique people who, being people, speaking common good English, have no idea which extra-terrestrial idiot they are talking to. Back to the subject, this place, although it may not seem so,is a place where Neopian players get their daily supply of hoodster stuff. So basically this place is the gist of Neopets (e.g.: it gives you the feeling you are high on LSD).

It has many shops like an auction house, which functions using the help of eBay labyrinths. There is also a food (drugs) shop, a pharmacy (for the after effects), a lodge, a magic shop, a petpet shop, a pizza shop and other random shops that sell trash, which some users spend 10 hours a day collecting. One of them sells "Usuki" dolls, which is a ripoff of Barbie for girls with mental diseases. It also branches of to a plaza, mall and marketplace. Talk about making losers into ultralosers.

Mystery Island[edit]

Yup this is a private Neopian romance,somewhere near Mystery Island we guess.

This world is suppose to be the the Neopian haven.Your ordinary boring holiday island with sandy beaches, undulating shores and other good places for writing stories on. Did I mention the cannibal natives, the fighting arena, the Techo Mountain, training school, The lost and "haunted" city of Geraptiku and the Ghost Lupe? I probably didn't but they couldn't be that interesting could they. This place is also famed for haikus that make plenty of sense

fun neopians surround me.

The Lost desert[edit]

Boo! Was that suppose to be scary? Where's Haunted Woods?

It is the one and only desert of Neopia. When it was discovered it was called Lost Desert. This probably refers to the fact that for the Neopians living there it is very easy to be tricked by mirages like those of some pharaoh's ghosts, but for users, it's just one click away. Party pooper. It has three subdivisions: The desert region, Sakhmet City, a royal city which is the capital(and only city) of the desert. There is also another city called Qasala, but it is not that awesome as its regal neighbor. I mean, come on, how can zombies, undead monarchs, ruins filled with artifacts and killer traps be more exciting than eating sand food,and counting the number of fruits stolen from a fatso vendor while he is busy masturbating!

The activities here include a rigged fruit machine spin, tug of war against elephants, killing hoards of HIV positive bugs, playing solitaire and many other games as exciting as counting the grains of sand, and multiplying it by the number of gigolos the princess of the royal palaces have fornicated with.


Meridell, a place were people make merry, prance in lush green meadow, write poetry and have the time of their life, right? No dude, this is Neopets, where stupidity twists in sentences are always made. This place is comparable to the gang wars of homies that take place in real life (or could be the War on Terra that is happening at the moment?), crazy drugs are made by inventors who are high, people take quantum leap...into the past (This is Neopets, remember?) Here, kings fight wars for a small testicle that glows golden (further proving that all Neopians worship hermaphrodite). Its neighbours are:

  • Darigan Citadel, an old wartime nemesis (AKA Saddam Hussein), currently a friend.
  • Brightvale, its competitive enemy who has a king named Hagar (AKA Osama bin Laden)
  • Meri Acres Farm, a farm which has an unusual affinity for generating what Neopians called a Pile of Dung.

Goes to show that Meridell is as worse as Iraq, with three wars that had been fought, all against Darigan.who was always very interested in dinosars

"Haunted" Woods[edit]

Annoying signs like these found in "Haunted" Woods could get you nowhere.

It's like, haunted or something. I mean seriously who gives a shit? It's made to look haunted but you can easily see that it's not haunted, even if you have half a brain cell. Also known as the "Unhaunted" Woods, because like omg, there are like ghosts of dead n00bs and undead rappers here! Ain't that scary! This place is divided into three sections: The Haunted Woods itself, the Deserted Fairground, and the graveyard. It includes the typical roster of scary creatures, which frankly, are not scary anymore, since we all know that undead rappers are afraid of pink panties, not garlic.

Terror Mountain[edit]

Ah the terror it must be bringing!!! You know what it begins with?? Happy valley! And it has shops like super happy-homo icy fun snow shop and Merry Outfits. Go figure. This place is the winter wonderland of neopets, which estimated altitude close to Faerieland's base, neighbor to Tyrannia. Its other "terrorizing" aspects are an igloo garage sale run by two creatures who are saving up for a pair of testicles, the aspiration of every Neopian fictional character (if you are wondering, yes even the females), a huge worm like character called the "Snowager" who is basically a frozen worm that is high on caffeine, for it sleeps for only three hours a day, protecting its hoard of testicles and testicle obtaining weapons the rest of the times. You can buy ice cream, play snow wars, etc.

The only terrorizing activity in here could be cliffhanger. But I am not mentioning anything! Guess why? Because its a "cliffhanger"!


Situated at the height of about Terror Mountain's peak is Faerieland. It's a mushy girlish place, with fluffy clouds, cute faeries and their petpets, nice peaceful giggly games, you know, girl stuff. One thing worth noticing is that all the faeries are hot, and that includes their tits. The other is that the places worth going to are Jhudora's cloud, a place where a evil faerie will ask you to get some goods for her. If you don't, well let's hope you taste good as her dinner. You can also go to the Hidden Tower, which requires a little bit of random scrolling around. It's where the queen of all faeries bankrupts you by selling items for millions that only those geeky fat nerds who sit on the PC 24/7 can obtain.

In space, high above Neopia...[edit]


Inhabitated by Grundos, Kreludor is simply a moon that orbits around Neopia. Enough said.

Virtupets Space Station[edit]

Simply a space station. Sells food that can give your pet, petpet, petpetpet, petpetpetpet, petpetpetpetpet, petpetpetpetpetpet, petpetpetpetpetpetpet, petpetpetpetpetpetpetpet, petpetpetpetpetpetpetpetpet... alright, I had enough of typing this stupid section. Anyway, it gives all of them, even you, Grundos in your bowels

Eastern Neopia[edit]

Lutari Island[edit]

No one knows this place. I mean, you need a phone that have this, this, this, this, or even this. It's confusing and some people outside of the USA never get to go to Lutari Island, even in the middle of a financial crisis. But at least there's crack, cocaine and weed.


Want to see real fun stuff here in Neopets? Like:

1.Young princesses committing suicide?

2.Plotting the course of the moon with a pedophile.

3.Cooking up some crack and liquid drugs with a orange kangaroo-like creature.

4.Taking the spelling check of people numbering more than the size of the universe (in femtometers not to mention!)

Then this is the place for you. Go ahead. It also has other joyful features like a shop for ninja weapons (as this place is Asian), a place where they sell phony medicine and a place where they sell petpets, which are as the name says, pets for your neopets.


Ah, when Neopets was being created by Adam, he was eating an asparagus, duh. All of a sudden his half eaten asparagus fell into a river. He swore and dived in to get it, but in the process, someone stole a bag of his asparagus. The real story was that he dived in with his bag, and to dry it, he emptied it into River Styx. Anyhow, this way he got pissed off with all water bodies,so he got his revenge by creating Maraqua, a site with beautiful artwork, and a great war. Goes to show that Neopia, if possible, is even worse than Iraq. It also features great underwater XXX stuff, but for those who are above a 100 years old, and nerds (Which means nothing basically). This place also leads to ruins called old maraqua. Over there you can try to arouse the ire of an old son of a bitch slug, who says nothing more than "GO AWAY!"

A fagpet showing Neopet's famous endorsement program for their two objective,the lesbian colour pink,and the value of insects in your diet.


Yup, big fellas like him come from Tyrannia.

This is the tribal trash of neopets. Here people dress up like party time strippers. All they wear is a pretty stoneage-type loincloth to hide they nonexistent genitals. The local dialect is tyrannian, a highly diverse dialect that has two phrases only:

1.Ugga-ugga: This about sums it all. Say this anytime, anywhere and all that you need to say will be said. Apparently these Tyrannians have really great telepathic powers, and can read your minds, the speech power is a half-fucked courtesy.

2.ARRRGH: Tyrannian expression for all emotions; anger, love, horniness, pain. Basically you say it and it is expressed, this is the main cause for most of the tyrannian wars. For example, when Monoceraptor (a child molesting dinosaur) tried to tell one of the chief elders he wanted to feel her pain, he accidently said AAAA...AAAAAAAAAARRRGH! The elder translated it to as "I want some horny pain". Since both were male, and homosexuality is banned in Neopets *cough*, they both started a full scale war. Go figure.


It's just a bloody old ruin in the middle. Nothing there to do, except to annoy that stupid orange porcupine thingy and the other people at the library where you can't do anything! You can't even get a job from the noticeboards! Fuck you Neopets!

Non-existent worlds (so says the cool people who run Neopets)[edit]

The most terribly abused, ridiculed and forlorn world of Neopets. Despite countless proofs of its existence, those cool people controlling Neopets have discarded it like addictions, without looking back and seeing again. Nevertheless this place is a delight to hogs and gamers.It is entirely made of jelly. It has a jelly shops, a giant jelly for free jelly, and many other jellycious things. Its games are adrenalin filled.

But due to this place is endangered. Help save it.

See Also[edit]

Edited by Baba and shayla jones