Never-Ending Story

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Tradition holds that the Never-Ending Story was begun in Biblical times, however, like so much from that era, the true story of the Story has been lost in the mists of History.

The current Story is thought to date from the Middle Ages (35 - 45) but it holds true to tradition; the narrative has been lost and rediscovered numerous times, but always the discover added his (and in modern times, her) unique telling of life's mysteries, always building on the insights and wisdom of his or her predecessors.

It is similar to a Wiki, in fact, except that each Story teller is honor-bound to add, and not change, to the ancient thread.

Cosmo Hronarion finished his beer, a good Hungarian brew, and belched; what a cosmically, really stupid, idea; "Wiki"!!! Stuuuupid! There's no way that that's gonna work, he thought, belligerently. Not that HE was full of good ideas, that's for sure; all he had to his name was the vintage Norbert Flambino racing car, and he could barely afford to have Oscar, the only man in San Francisco who really knew how to tune its pair of six-barrel Bolstrood carbs, work his magic when the Flambino sputtered to a stop, like clockwork, every two weeks.

That, and his degree in Comp. Sci., pretty much useless in this economy... and the wall full of 1U Proliants that lined his dingy studio apartment and kept the temperature in the 90's even in the winter.

"I've got to get my act together!" he said, aloud... but he reached for another beer, anyway, looked at it, and then...

Low and behold, the beer was vanished like a father at the words pregant. "Eh wot?" Said Cosmo, in a rather thick and fake British accent. "Who dare take the brew of the gods from me? I demand SERVICE!" Getting up, he got up. Getting down, he couldn't find the beer. "BAH!" He cursed, pumping his fist into the air like so many a tyrant, "these subordinate phrases cannot help me find my fresh, thirst quenching beer!" Gathering his sporty frock and his disproportionate pantaloons, and donning the bowler hat of justice, he did push open the door, and God saw to it that it was good.

After leaving the said dwelling, of which it may be a house, a shack, or maybe a mere cave with a door, Cosmo set forth to find the question to his answer, of which the answer was "Beer", or maybe it was "Alcohol". Anything under those lines, really, would suit him fine. Gathering his wits about him (for they often scamper away when one doesn't discipline them), he took his first step. This reminded him of the ancient Chinese proverb, "You cannot start a trip without taking a step."

Thusly, Cosmo called upon his Segway, and he did depart without taking another step henceforth... and died. But it didn't end there. His carcass had been preserved with the great quantities of beer and alcohol in a permanently pickled state, and was promptly erected upon the summit of the Golden Gate Bridge by his devoted following, to betoken their longing for his good nature in supporting the antique car industry. "This is a true die-in", said a young girl named Julie, who remembered fondly how he would race past that very spot, beer in hand, back in the sixties or whenever.

Julie sighed as she walked slowly to her cottage on the edge of town, unsure of what to do next. But this tale really does not concern Julie; it actually has more to do with Lars, her gardener - or rather, with Ingrid, the sister of Lars, who at that very moment in time was reciting the name of every species of bat that she could think of in preparation for her forthcoming biology exam.

And then Captain Sarcasm flew in.


20 GOTO 10
for(unsigned __int64 i = 1; i; i++)
    printf("%s%c", "STORY", '\n');
    std::cout << "STORY" << std::endl;
do {
} while(2 + 2 == 4);
l = []
l += [l]
while l[0]:
    print "STORY"
(defun story ()
class story:
     def __init__(selv,name):
         selv.text = raw_input = name
     def printstory():
         print selv.text
story1 = story(story)
for ($i = 1; $i > 0; $i++) {
   echo "STORY";

See Also[edit]

Never-beginning story