New Louisiana

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“With these new shoes, we cannot be defeated! Allah is great! ”

~ Nike Terrorist on New Louisiana
New Louisiana

New Louisiana (formerly Iraq) is a U.S. state formed during the Nike Revolution of 2006. Its formation concluded the revolution and has brought back Nike's world renowned child labor


The administrative center of New Louisiana is New New Orleans. No, actually not that New New Orleans; it's another Newer New Orleans, built for those who didn't want to live in a desert and never see a gulf coast with oil refineries.

The former center, Baghdad, was destroyed between the Hurricane Katrina disaster and the Nike Revolution as a result of terrorist bombings. It is being rebuilt under the name New Baton Rouge, the old Baton Rouge already being filled to overflow by Katrina's refugees.

Soon after the Nike Revolution, most Iraqi geographical names were dropped in favor of American ones. However, due to the new government's total lack of imagination, many towns, rivers and mountains still remain nameless.


The current governor of New Louisiana is Katrina Aftermath, a former CNN reporter. She decided to run for governor when CNN itself was relocated to the city of Media Center in the center of New Louisiana.

The governor of the old St. Louisiana, Kathleen Babineux Blanco, plans to retire and return to teaching. According to faculty, she intends to teach American History as well as the applied sciences. The first lesson will be entitled "Why not to build a city below sea level in hurricane country". The second, remedial lesson will be entitled "Why pitiful floodwalls anchored in ten feet of swamp peat and mud just won't save you from inevitable doom".

Louisiana's official currency.


Due to the U.S. Army's successful program of deporting the native Iraqi to the nearby Iran, the majority of New Louisiana population consists of refugees from the not-so-good old St. Louisiana.

Most inhabitants of New Louisiana are atheists; after seeing that Hurricane Katrina refused to leave No Orleans alone despite their constant prayers to God, they stopped believing in him. Those who retained their faith, to prevent religious wars with the Iraqi, collaborated with them to found a new consensus-driven religion—Katrinism. Abandoning their American and Iraqi identities, the two people became one nation—the Katrination, and now they worship natural disasters such as hurricanes and U.S. bombings.

So far, the number of Katrinatians is slowly but steadily increasing as a result of immigration, due to George W. Bush's War on Terra campaign.