Newt Gingrich

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Welcome to our series on American Politics by Non-Americans - Part 9: Newt Gingrich


Newt Gingrich

Newt Gingrich is an American Parliamentarian, who is best known as serving as Speaker of the Colonial House of Commons. He is a member of the Republican Party, as the foolish Yanks have no king and think republics are cool. Huh! Them and Robespierre.

Contrary to popular belief, he is not an amphibian, as that is a different sort of newt. So far as is known, he also never stole Christmas.

Newt Gingrich is also suspected to be a founding member of The Black Panther Party.

Why he is Famous[edit]

Frankly, no one is sure. He was in all the papers about ten years ago, but nobody remembers why. We're pretty sure he didn't like Bill Clinton, but then again lots of people didn't so that's really not so surprising.

My mate Frank says he wanted to have a contract with America, but that's just stupid. There's about, what, fifty thousand Americans, and they couldn't all sign it. But Frank says that's a common misconception about contract law and that signatures aren't always required, but it wouldn't be a legally binding contract without consideration. Then he started to explain what consideration was in a legal context, and also about somethink called "invitation to treat" but I sort of lost interest around then.

He was Jim Carrey's stand in during production of The Gingrinch.

Where is He Now?[edit]

Washington, I guess. There's a city called Washington in America, and also a state, but about a hundred kilometers apart, so you can't be in both at once. Unless you're in a transporter malfunction, of course, then the good you could be in the city and the evil you could be in the state. Or visa versa.

Um, but since that didn't happen to Gingrich, that's not strictly relevant.


Newt Gingrich differs from fellow vaguely-remembered '90s Jacobin Republican Bob Dole in having more hair and limbs. And probably some other ways.