From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Nguyen and its Magick Powers[edit]

While his childhood, Steve liked to enjoy watching people suffer. Once, Steven was throwing cows at his slave - Richard. Richard died of course. After the first hit, that is. But Steven wasn't satisfied. So he killed his beloved chicken - Bob. Steven Nguyen once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" It was fun, he said.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Steven Nguyen out. It failed miserably. Once at his birthday party, Steven once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Steven's powers grew by even day. Every second, to be exact.


Mr. Nguyen, also known as Steve Nguyen, is one of the greatest yet respectful Spartan. He slayed two billion ennemies by just snaping his fingers. They were overwhelemnd by its sound. And died of course. Some of them were just burned by just looking at The Allmighty Steven Nguyen. His smexiness has no limits. [They never take pictures of him. The cameras just burn by his smexiness.]


"Nguyen" is derived from the Old Icelandic appelative "Norgen," meaning "will eat anything and everything." In modern times, the name has come to mean "Smith" and "Johnson" in English.


The name "Nguyen" was created on July 9th 1577 by a Dark Wizard named Paddy Finnegan.

During the so called "Cheese Age" of Vietnamese history (1670-1786), a certain family took the name and rose to political power. Their former name was "Vung Thõ",which roughly translates as "I'm a dumb shit", so it's no surprise they changed the name.

In 1833, Vincent Nguyen became the emperor of Vietnam. He forced everybody in Vietnam to change their last name to Nguyen because he was a dick.

Notable Nguyens[edit]

Hugo Nguyen[edit]

Hugo Nguyen is the gayest of all Nguyens. His parents are Ch Tran and Ink Nguyen. He has hate for all Jews and has a life-long goal of incinerating all of them. He was born with the life-long illness of not being able to swim. He is obsessed with PS3 and constantly plays Resistance: Fall of Man, where he is number 8,652 in the world. He responds to the name Charlie, which he considers a form of respect.

John Malkovich-Nguyen[edit]

Famous actor John Malkovich was born Johnathan Malkovich-Nguyen, the son of an American soldier and a Vietnamese masseuse. Though he currently goes by the stage name "John Malkovich," he is an active participant in the Vietnamese-American community: often seen marching in Vietnamese New Year parades (Feb 21st), Vietnamese 4th of July parades (Aug 23rd), and Vietnamese Columbus Day parades (Jan 1st).

Dave Nguyen[edit]

First Vietnamese Emperor to have the name Nguyen. He fired his Minister of Public Transportation for not reporting to work in 1845, and was soon afterwards assassinated by him. The ex-minister is reported as saying, "It's 18-fucking-45 in Viet-fucking-nam! There is no goddamn public transit! There's no goddamn work for me to do! Did he expect me to show up at an empty office and just sit there for 8 hours!?"

And of course Hien Nguyen is his father.

Hien Nguyen[edit]


Dr. Nguyen Van Phoc[edit]

Lionel Hutz, AKA Miguel Sanchez, AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Phoc, was paid eight dollars for his thirty-two hours of babysitting. He was glad to get it.

Ng Ngoc Nguyen[edit]

Found a nucleic acid consisting of large molecules shaped like a double helix associated with the transmission of genetic information in dog shit.

Nguyen Nguyen[edit]

Calculated pi to π decimal places.

Thomas Alva Nguyen[edit]

Invented the phonograph, the incandescent electric light, the microphone and the Kinetoscope (1847-1931). Born in a trunk. Played second base for the Stanley Cup champion (1807) Chicago Turds.

Phong Nguyen[edit]

Phong runs the entire Internet from his mom's basement in Menlo Park, California. He has absolute control over everything online. Remember that time your favourite porn site 404'd? Phong's fault. Insidious virus shuts down a few critical name servers? Phong's fault too.

Jessica Nguyen[edit]

I dated Jessica Nguyen for a few semesters in High School. She broke up with me and I saw her at the Junior prom with Freddy MacDouglas, the star football player. So I shot them both and left their bodies in a ditch.

Nguyen Hu Dat[edit]

The blackest Nguyen of all.

Andrew Nguyen[edit]

Andrew Nguyen was a notable Vietnamese-American chess player. He got his ass brutally handed to him by Kasparov in a match in 1998, and he never played chess again. In 2003, he was run over by a truck carrying several thousand pounds of beets.

Dr. Nguyen Soong[edit]

Creator of Data.

Khan Nguyen Singh[edit]

Creator of Dr. Nguyen Soong.

Nguyen Nguyen-Ghali[edit]

Is an Egyptian diplomat and the sixth Secretary-General of the United Nations from January 1992 to December 1996.

Jen Nguyen[edit]

John Ellis Nguyen Nguyen (born February 11, 1953), is the Governor of some state.

François Nguyen[edit]

François Nguyen is the french Nguyen.

Hortense Bakunin Phat Nguyen[edit]

Hortense Bakunin Phat Nguyen is a Vietnamese actress and Jell-O Pudding Pops(TM) spokesperson.

Tri Nguyen[edit]

Probably the most perfect Nguyen you will find out there. He's actually... normal.

Nhat Nguyen[edit]

The most dangerous Nguyen you'll ever meet....

Myren Nguyen[edit]

Identified meepers and founded The International Association of Meepers (TIMA) in 1903.

Thien 'TN' Nguyen[edit]

Famous for his video on about sitting on the toilet. Just type in 'TN in the Toilet'.


Ted Nguyen[edit]

Vietnamese hard rock guitar player known for his hit record "Wank me Spank me but don't wake up and Trank me." Wears a hat made out of gibbon skin.

Dave Nguyen the Great[edit]

Evil clone of Dave Nguyen,who was supposed to become the new emperor of Vietnam. Instead he chose to learn everything about Walmart pricings and how to compose songs on a cell-phone. He invented the 101st time machine,and was able to travel in time back to year 0.3 AD. Jesus gave him an autograph,but Dave couldn't go back to the future. He decided to do great things during his probably short life,as he was suffering from obesity,which was spreading all over the universe at the time. Since he survived the 1st Great Obesity Plague (also known as the Greater Obesity Plague and the Greatest Obesity Plague),he should be considered as one of the most important figures in the history of food.

He led the Romans to victory (sponsored by Nike) in the Great Sport War and sank the island of their most feared enemies,MacDonald's (possibly located somewhere in the higher edge of the world). He also invented the non-breakable spoon,glass-sword,was the first human to see a reborn mollusc and wrote the script for the critically acclaimed musical "A Bee See Me",which took pre-communism into consideration during the Rabbit Revolution of 340 AD. In the year 1000 AD,he started hibernating and finally woke up in 2000. During the 6 years he has been awake,he has been teaching people and other animals the ancient language of Shuktakishawlalee. The project has been unsuccessful,but Dave is now planning to construct a massive spaceship called "Titpanic". A german prophet has foreseen,that the ship will sink into the depths of space. It is still unclear,how the future of Dave will turn out and if the prophet knows anything about physics.

For The Nguyen[edit]

The phrase "For the Nguyen" was originally used to refer to something that was to be given to a Vietnamese person, however, it was overheard once by an American who misunderstood the phrase as "For the win," thus FTW was born.