No Gouda

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No Gouda is a partially theoretical noble cheese, and as such all theorists theorise that it is nicer than it really is. Many theorise that No Gouda came in contact with Parmesan to cause the big burp. Though this is heavily disputed by cattlanity groups who believe the world was created by THE BIG COW, otherwise known as god cow.

Due to its unstable nature No Gouda has the unusual property of being liquid butter at room temperature; this is where most of the controversy over whether it's a noble cheese is. Many scientists disregard the theory of No Gouda being a genuine noble cheese, whilst others agree that No Gouda is in fact the missing link in the noble cheeses.

Perhaps one of the most famous cheeses due to the fact that in the second space-cow invasion of 1066 (coincidentally the same year as the battle of hastings) it was discovered to be their one weakness. Thus the huge amount of surplus whey devices leftover after the invasion was due to this.

How it became known as a noble cheese[edit]

In 1954 French cheesemakers Gouda Van Dam and Nobert Don Tre Somme were experimenting with the highly experimental stilton cheese. They fired 2 particles of the substance into a whey device, the results were astounding. Not only had it created a new noble cheese it had also converted Gouda's entire body into a particle of moron. When Nobert was asked about the discovery by English news reporters he was claimed to of said 'No Gouda' and thus the baptism of the 3rd noble cheese was born.

The Confusion[edit]

A lot of cheese manufacturers such as 'Churds and Whey' were now trying to get their hands on this new cheese as they knew there would be a huge market for such a cheese. Unfortunetly people with the name Gouda got the false impression that No Gouda on the signs in front of cheese shops meant they weren't allowed in. Riots were formed between the union of people whose name's are Gouda. Eventually this led to consessions in France with every one whose name is Gouda gaining €5,000 in compensation.

See Also[edit]

The 12 Fundamental Cheeses
*Not to be confused with "Holey" Cheese
The 3 Noble Cheeses
*Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta"