Nobel Physics Prize
Prize for being a top-notch brain-box in physics.
The prize was established by Alfred Nobel way back in the Olden Days. The prize is awarded annually, and is personally handed to the winner by the King of Sweden in the main bar of the Gem Saloon, Deadwood, South Dakota.
The prize consists of a trophy and a cash award, which can be traded in for sexual favours with the Gem's prostitutes. The selection of the winners is a long and difficult process, which is helped along by pulling names from a hat.
Notable Winners of the Nobel Physics Prize
- 1901 - Gottfried Spork, for his work on piezoelectricity.
- 1902 - Wolfgang Schlumpf, for his work on Mrs Spork
- 1903 - René-Prosper Blondlot, for the discovery of N-Rays, a form of radiation which is remarkable for not actually existing.
- 1904 - Marie Curie and Paul Curie, for inventing the radium rifle used by the Warlord of Mars.
- 1907 - No winner this year; prize jackpots next year.
- 1908 - Albert Einstein, for his groundbreaking work on fridge magnets
- 1910 - James Clerk Maxwell, for unifing The Force with Magnetos, in Electromagneto Theorum.
- 1911 - Alex Chiu, for the invention of the infinite human immortality ring
- 1916 - Kaiser Wilhelm II, for slipping the judges a fifty.
- 1919 - The year so nice, they named it twice.
- 1927 - H. P. Lovecraft, for his work on extra-spatial dimensions and non-Euclidian mathematics.
- 1932 - Doc Savage, the Man of Bronze, for saving us all from the anti-men of Vega.
- 1938 - Albert Einstein, again, just for the hell of it.
- 1943 - Doctor Who for building an anti-Dalek ray out of a colander and some silver paper.
- 1946-1963 - No prize awarded due to a worldwide physics shortage.
- 1967 - Dr Victor von Doom for enslaving the world, and bending every human being to his evil will.
- 1968 - Mao Zedong, due to administrative error.
- 1969 - Dr. Werner von Braun, for his experimental work making rockets go up and not caring where they came down.
- 1974 - David Bowie for his spectacular stage performances.
- 1978 - Dean Hutton and Rob Morrison - for slaking the curiosity of generations of Australian schoolchildren.
- 1984 - Egon Spengler, Peter Venkman, Ray Stanz and Winston Zedmore for their decisive contributions to the large project, which led to the discovery of the field particles W and Z, communicators of weak interaction. Nah, just kidding, it's for kicking Gozer's tail.
- 1986 - NASA, for services to traumatising school kids.
- 1995 - Gyro Gearloose, John Frink, Professor Membrane and Jonny Quest - for their mathematical proof showing that the world needs laughter.
- 2001 to present - physics ceased to be a relevant study after the Apocalypse. Since the rapture, the physical laws of the universe are whatever Jesus says they are.
- 2009 Alicia Keys discovers the Element of Freedom.