Norton Is-a-virus

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Norton Is-a-virus is a popular virus. It is known for it's ability to perform several denial-of-service attacks at Apple computers at once. It can also wipe out an entire computer in less than 5 seconds.


Norton Is-a-virus was started by Cymantic inc. in 1862. Abraham Lincoln was so impressed with it, he gave Cymantec the nobel prize. The first version was -8.0. They then released version -8.1, which is similar to today's version. Cymantec sold it for $9,476.00. They then increased the price to $9,476.01 after gaining a new employee they needed to pay. They were known for sending Apple computers servers to a crashing halt. Steve Jobs sued Cymantec, but Cymantec hired Abraham Lincoln to send Steve Jobs to venus, where he now resides.

Cymantec's name change[edit]

In 1973, Cymantec changed their name to McAfee, and a day later, decided to change it to Ploomantec. Some think it had to do with the hippie movement, and they wanted a more "Psychedelic" sounding name. The Doobie Brothers think that it was because the file allocation tables of the microprocessor unit inside the motherboard holding encrypted data algorithims changed the TCP connections and altered the HTML variables in the meta data files on the Numa Numa website.

Ploomantic's futuistic vision[edit]

In 1981, an employee of Ploomantic swears he saw a vision from the future. It was actually of where Microsoft will be in the year 2032. He said that Bill Gates's son, Phil Gates, bought out Apple computers for $19,000,224,503,500.00 Steve Job's son, Keive, bought out Microsoft for $29,283,245,356.00. Phil Used the Mac design, but stuck with the Windows OS. He started calling them PAC's (Cross between a PC and a MAC). Soon, the PAC became the best selling home electronic of the year. Keive ran out of ideas, and turned Apple computers into an apple factory. This caused Ploomantic to design a new type of Norton Is-a-virus that will send airwaves to the apple factory. They will infect all apples with a gas that when eaten, will cause every person you see to look like Bill Gates.

Ploomantic branches out[edit]

In 1995, Ploomantic started doing so well, they hired extra developers to start creating other software. They came out with Norton Waterwall, a system that would take all incoming and outgoing connections, and infect them with adware that would display ads for Norton Is-a-virus. They also made Norton SystemCrash, a program that would crash your computer at different intervals.

Ploomantic today[edit]

Right now, Norton Is-a-virus has been rated 5 stars at Dnet and 5 stars at It has new and improved features like mass-mailing itself to everyone in your address book, allowing a Ploomantic employee to control your computer, and now it can perform denail-of-service attacks on Linux.

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