Numa Numa

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Numa Numa.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Dragostea din tei.
Gary Brolsma causes a pileup on the freeway with Rocko and Ren and others' lives on the line!

Numa Numa (officially known as Dragostea din tei) is the National Anthem of Romania and Moldova.

The song is nearly silent. You cannot use your hearing sense to feel it. That's because it uses very low frequencies which are like the sounds produced by the tectonic shields which spin in the central part of Romania. The secret behind hearing the music is that you must drink at least a pint of tuica.

The song has been known to sexually excite Romulans, Romanians, and oiled midgets. It is also a good pirate repellent. As such, it is not popular among followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Perhaps the greatest ability of the song is that it can repel small groups of grues. With a standard cassette player or iPod, one can hold off a marauding grue for as long as the song plays. With a radio, groups of five to ten can be kept at bay. With a full-sized amp, entire hordes can be deterred, allowing you to run like hell. Assuming you can move your lardy butt away from a horde of grues in 3 minutes and 52 seconds.

Not very hard to understand is the fact that the song hit first place in the Top 10 Singles charts in Italy, France, Spain and Germany. The band O-Zone was dismantled by the KGB, CIA and other forces who didn't want this song to top in Russia and the US and cause a revolution like in all the other African states.


Few people today know this, but Dragostea din tei is in fact a ritual devoted to an Egyptian sun god named Amun (sometimes known as "Numa"). Every year one of the more rotund priests of Amun would, as the ancient scriptures write, "Dance, dance until his face doth shine as does Amun, the sun, and his sweat doth make the Nile swell." The scriptures went platinum.

Yep, that's him

Title translation[edit]

Due to the infinite subtleties of the Romanian language, the title of this song is widely considered almost impossible to translate. Some meanings proposed by experts include:

Interpretations of this literal translation include "Love From The Tree People" and "Save the Linden Trees from Global Warming and Mr. T."


Here is an excerpt of the lyrics, along with a feeble English translation attempt by the world's language experts:

Alo! Salut. Sunt eu, un haiduc.
Hello, it's me, the local Robin Hood.
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
And please, my love, accept this feta cheese.
Alo! Aaaaaaalo! Sunt iarasi eu, Picasso. Ti-am dat bip. Tirr, tirrr...
Hello! Heeeeeeello! You look like Picasso. I gave you beef. Beef! Beef!
Si sunt voinic,
Read the Voynich Manuscript [and be enlightened].
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.
But remember, I don't play the game of changing the rules.
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma nu ma iei.
I must take my razor blades to Numa, Iowa. Numa, Iowa! Numa, Iowa! [Suspected terrorist camp location]
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
To keep this promiscuous Second Life-using Danish soldier down. [Refers to terrorist beheadings?]
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
I'm astounded that people pay to see it [a video of a soldier getting his or her head cut off].
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei. Nu ma nu ma nu ma iei. (repeat 99+ times)
Gimme more razor blades and bring me Nevada-tan. Yay Nevada-tan! [I need somebody experienced with sharp objects. Any sharp objects.]
[What follows is so stupid that it cannot be translated in English but only in the Eskimo language Arumbabubumba. Some say that cracking the meaning of these verses will critically destabilize the space-time continuum, bringing about the end of the world.]

Conspiracy theories[edit]

  • It is said that the Numa Numa kid is the head of an international cult 12 million strong. The structure of this cult is amorphous, and its goals are completely unknown. However, the fact a police raid uncovered a detailed map of several ICBM complexes and the remains of a members list that had the name "Vladimir Putin" on it is very, very alarming
  • If you play the song backwards, it says:
    "Yeah Yeah Yeah Whore second time Yeah Get on somebody Worship Please Yeah A moon a moon a moon And I share myself Yeah Get on somebody Worship Please Second time Yeah A moon a moon a moon ... He and us are bitches ... He and us are whores..."
    The purpose of the sexual references is unknown, but it is suspected that gay rights activists may have played some role.

External links[edit]