NutraSweet

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to NutraSweet.

NutraSweet is delicious non-fattening sweetener made from the ground bones of puppies and kittens real sugar (and a touch of formaldehyde) with the calories taken out. Since the calorific content is related to the quantity soluable carbohydrates (or sugars) present removing them leaves you with sweet FA.

It has a naturally sweet taste since kitten and puppy meat sugar is delicious and much of the flavor "sticks" to the bones.

Fun Facts[edit]

  • Studies have shown that NutraSweet tastes 7% sweeter when there is a picture of strawberries, raspberries, or other sweet, natural fruit on the packaging.
  • NutraSweet led to the demise of diet cola Tab, as saccharine tastes like crap.
  • NutraSweet causes toe gout, the first time you eat it in all of your toes. Toe gout is non-fatal and undetectable, though, so nobody really cares.