Nutrition

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Nutrition.

Nutrition is the exacting science of determining what foods a human body (allegedly) needs, as opposed to what foods a human body actually wants.

Daily Nutritional Requirements[edit]

  • 13 liters of purified tap water
  • 0.2 liters of skim milk
  • 2 thin slices of unleavened whole wheat bread
  • 0.3 ounces of skinless chicken breast
  • 1 stalk of celery
  • 4 lettuce leaves

Results: Extreme starvation; uncontrollable urge to smite the nutritionist's ugly face.

What We Would End Up Eating Anyway[edit]

Results: Happiness, contentment, and world peace.

See also[edit]