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Obsession is when one person is totally in love with another, or possibly their cactus, and takes their affection one step further. They follow them around and like to sniff used tissues, shoes, souls, and teeth retainers. Not to be confused with stalking, as with stalking they are following them either for money, sex or their pet cockroach Gerald who is controlling the world with his universal remote.

How to obsess[edit]

It is easy to obsess. Just find something and - OMG there is King Kong! Look at his fur im going to pat him. I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him. Look he just used that pen ITS MINE FOR MY SHRINE!


It is almost compulsory for all obsessors to have a shrines or so it states in Obsession for n00bs after following the Position for obsessor of Johnny Deep has been fulfilled thank you so GO AWAY. To create a good shrine you must have:

A)At least THREE hairs of your victim OOPS I mean obsessee. These can be made for voodoo or chucky dolls. Make sure these hairs are HUMAN not your obsessees neighbours cat who just so happened to cough a fur ball on to him in the morning.

B)Photos. You must have a photo of your obsessee so you don't end of getting confused and following a stranger who just so happens to be Michael Jackson luring you (all those under 15 boys out there) to his secret lair.

C) A secret place. Don't go putting your shrine in the middle of a crowded place such as city centre or the public toilets but a secretive place like your hidden dungeon behind the bookcase.