Oil-for-food program

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A typical chef on the Oil-for-food program.

The Oil-for-food program was a popular half-hour television show that aired on Iraqi free-to-air TV from 1996 until 2003. It showed the average Iraqi citizen what to make from their hard-earned rations, which were personally supplied by their evil dictator Saddam Hussein.

The show usually consists of an international celebrity chef who has only 20 minutes to cook up a delicious three course meal using the supplied rations. Where the remaining 10 minutes were filled up with advertorials for cooking books, sneek previews of the next days rations and home videos of cooking creations sent in by Iraqi housewives.

The Oil-for-food program was axed in 2003 when it was discovered that some of the chefs on the show were receiving 'kick-backs' of free goats to 'have their own way with'. Ever since the axing, Iraqi citizens are forced to eat out at McDonalds, pizzerias or "Rather Dirty and Extremely Unhygenic, Sloppy Joes".

Some highlights included:[edit]

  • Delia Smith was flown in when a special ration pack consisting on only one dozen eggs was distributed. Who knew there were so many ways to prepare an egg on a hot tin roof?
  • Jamie Oliver, who was only supplied with a bag of wheat, managed to create a full five course meal.
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Entree: Mini Bread Toast, Salad: Pasta Salad, Main: Mock Duck with White Sauce, Dessert: Cake with Mock Icing, Beverage: Full-body brewed beer.
  • A special full 30 minute show featuring Saddam himself, creating an eleven course meal, including caviar, expensive French and cheap Australian table wines, a spicy lemon curry and soft-serve icecream. How the viewers were supposed to make all that out of one cup of rice, two potatoes and a bottle of anti-freeze, was left up to them.
  • Several novice chefs were behedded live on television for their use of Extra slutty olive oil.
  • Another 30 minute special consisting of "Iraqi's Funniest Home Cooking Videos Show". All the worst bits of those home videos sent in - including, the 'Mortar and Pestle incident', "Where's the Beef?" gags and several of the classic "I don't think the gas has been re-connected yet" demolition jobs.