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“Don't get too close to my fantasy.”


The ollie is an aerial skateboarding trick, invented by Alan "Ollie" Gelfand in 1976 and is used to flatten kittens. Considered a less adventurous method of dispatching kittens than the traditional Kitten Huffing methods, the ollie serves as a basis for many other skateboarding tricks, such as the cockflip, trouser-press and poop-thrust. The trick is also known as the no hands anal, because when performing an ollie, the skateboarder does not grab his bottom at all.


The front foot is moved slightly more towards the center of the board. The skateboarder quickly drags his front foot onto the cats head, and as he or she is about to take off he/she kicks the tail of the cat down, while rapidly picking their back foot back up quickly. The kick gives the front end of the cat upward momentum, and as the tail hits the ground, it rebounds making the cat completely airborne. When the cat lands it is flattened, its nose is much higher off the ground than the tail is. The skateboarder slides his or her front foot up and forward on the griptape. The movement between the cat and the board levels the skateboard and takes it farther off the ground. Then as the skater descends, they land on the balls of the cat, preferably, and then bend their knees to absorb the impact.