From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The slowest developing subdiscipline of theorem research, Omnitronics has been credited to provide theoretical explanations of certain phenomena in the physical world such as who came up with North Dakota in the first place, analysis of Computer addiction and an actually practiable renovation of the currently rejected theory of Electricity. Furthermore, recent researches going on at MIT seek to utilize Omnitronics for a formal theory of Oscar Wilde Quotes to prevent an Infinite Earths Crisis from happening again.

Van Halen Axioms[edit]

The Van Halen Axioms, named after their inventor, Thomas Edison, are a set of five billion fragments of Wombat and estimated 10^20 different pairs of parenthesis. The "Van Halen Axiomatic Scheme" (VHAS) is used to derive all well formed statements of Omnitronics from exactly one wombat fragment and an arbitrary amount of parenthesis using only a pencil and a Windows 98 powered computer, leading to a total count of at least 4 possible well-formed statements: Linux, Microsoft, North Dakota and Freddy Mercury. They are also known as "elementary entities of Omnitronics" (EEOO) and are engraved in 500 feet tall letters above the northern entrance of the MIT since 1905.

The original manuscript of the Van Halen Axioms which is dated back to Edison himself is confined in the CIA disclosed archives magazine in the summer capital of Romania, Bucharest.

Omnitronic Cocktail Logic[edit]

Based on theorem science, Omnitronic Cocktail Logic (OCL) has proven to provide for the easiest methods of producing melon slices which are required for theorem derivations of higher order. The canonical procedure is to prepare and serve them to a mad scientist who will in turn start solving omnitronical equations provided with an installation of Windows. Any nearby melon will be sliced by an effect known as omnitronical decohesion.

History of Omnitronics[edit]

  • 1895: Thomas Edison claims to have invented Electricity. On a sidenote of his original blueprints he denotes the Van Halen Axioms. In his spare time he builds Omnitron for a working prototype.
  • 1900: Albert Newton and Einstein in different approaches conclude the VHAS and derive all four EEOO.
  • 1905: Michelangelo finishes his monumental work "Omnitronica" hosting the four EEOO in 500 feet tall solid bronze letters. They are moved to Winnipeg, Canada by a Moose cohorte, to be placed over the northern entrance of the newly founded MIT.
  • 1907-1910: During the IEEE World War, Omnitronics research receives a significant boost which is only put to a halt when Robots declare World Peace.
  • 1957: Omnitron is moved to the MIT Center for Commercial Crap (CCC) to host the first installations of Windows 57, the successor OS-oid to Windows 98.
  • until Today: Omnitronics research is silently continued by a notoriously underfunded group of mad scientists at the MIT to solve enormously complex logical problems occuring in Oscar Wilde Quotes theory nobody else does care about.


Historians argue that the initial works on the VHAS that is used to derive the EEOO have been influenced by Omnitron himself.

See also[edit]