Open Windows

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“Give it time, and this fucker might succeed.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Open Windows


~ Stan Marsh on Open Windows
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Open Windows.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about the other Open Windows.

Open Windows (abbreviated as OW) is an ongoing project released by AIM (Apple-IBM-Motarola) that anyone can edit. The catch is that Open Windows comes with absolutely nothing installed; all extensions must be downloaded from the Open Windows website (

Open Windows when first installed.


Open Windows was conceived of by Steve Jobs one day while on drugs. Inspired by awesome open-source projects such as StepMania and OpenOffice, Jobs wanted to help convert Windows users to the amazing functionality of OSX. We still can't figure out how open-source software can do this, but damnit if it won't stop most people from using it.

Popular Extensions[edit]

Some of the most popular extensions are based off of previous Microsoft creations but written completely from scratch and therefore bug-free (assuming that the programmer knows a compiler from his ass). More and more extensions are being created every day. Why not make your own?


Based off of the X-Lnux game Mensweeper. It features added levels for increased difficulty. The annual Minesweeper Championship is now forcing competitors to use Mineduster because of a mastery of the Expert level.

Messy Desk[edit]

Based off of Microsoft poop. Its most prominent feature is the ability to permanently disable the Office Assistant(Origglly developed by AIM.). If you choose to use it, you can browse through a plethora of entertaining characters such as Annoying Coworker, The Boss, and the crowd favorite Straight Up Gangsta.

Xbox 360 Emulator[edit]

Never fork out money to play a video game again. All you need is a keyboard, and you're all set to play your favorite Xbox poop$pee games, complete with full backwards compatibility. Joystick/gamepad functionality is not included.


Based off of Solitaire (Made by IBM in 2009 BC). Nothing is changed here besides the ability to use custom images for card backs.

Mozilla Firefox[edit]

It's not based off of anything created by Microsoft; it's just a kick-ass browser.

Steve vs. Steve[edit]

A game where you can pit Steve Balmer against Steve Jobs for who the biggest freak is!

Apple Authentic Advantage (AAA)[edit]

The alternative to Windows Genuine Advantage, it works by comparing several random numbers to those generated by Apples servers. In the event that a non-authentic copy is identified, all power is directed to the display adapter, which causes the monitor to explode.

Linux Emulator[edit]

Apple displaced this shit. Nobody uses it. Ever.