“He said "BS."”
“Yeah, but first, he said "Pee."”
“How do you spell PBS?”
“Spell HIV before I show you how to spell PBS.”
“I always thought it ment Public Bull Shit. Guess I was wrong.”
This Is P. B. Ass.
PBS was originally founded to manufacture Peanut Butter Sandwiches, not to be confused with Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches or the "Proffesional Bull Shitters"(Yes, I know I spelled it wrong you ignorant fuck). , comprised of the beloved President Bill "I didn't screw her" Clinton, a random Soviet guy going on about the total dominance of the USSR, and a stoned and slightly retarded 90 year old hippy. By removing the jelly they cut costs dramatically but the task of marketing their creation to children became infinitely more difficult. After all other attempts to market the concoction failed, one of which involved trusting a large amount of the lead-based paint used on the labels to Bernie Madoff, they were forced to turn their attention to television.
To market this evil they placed commercials with kids acting like they enjoyed eating Satan’s creation. These strings of commercials eventually led the terrorists to create their own station under the cover of a telethon "public access" learning channel.
This platform would allow them to not only to infect millions at once, but also make a direct attack on the children of America. Additionally, since everyone LOVES the PBS, all the blame would fall squarely on Al-Queda and their dead, goat-fucking leader "Osama the Has-been laiden with explosives"
PBS later changed their name but kept the initials, operating as a "public broadcasting station" a worldwide conglomerate with aspirations for world domination. PBS' evening schedule emphasizes areas including:
Before we continue with the "programming" section, we'd like to invite you to call your PBS station right now and contribute during this week's pledge drive. It's only through your support that great sections like "programming" can be brought into your home.
Just take a moment, right now, and think about the value that this section provides in your life. For your $125 pledge, you get this great Uncyclopedia tote bag. It's just great. For $200, we'll send you this great CD, Jimbo Wales Sings the Blues. That's our thank-you gift to you. So please, pick up the phone right now and make your contribution.
Because if you don't we'll just be back next week for more. Now let's get back to the "programming" section.
- Fine arts (Great Performances, Live from the Met, Live from Lincoln Center, and Evening at Pops)
- Drama (Mystery!, American Playhouse, and Masterpiece Theatre)
- Science (Nova (series) and Scientific American Frontiers)
- History (American Experience, Antiques Roadshow)
- Public affairs (Frontline (American television series), NOW (TV series), The Newshour with Jim Lehrer, Nightly Business Report)
- Independent films (P.O.V., and Independent Lens)
PBS was able to shape the way America grew and decided to run it straight to the ground. PBS (as PBS Kids) has distributed a number of highly regarded children's shows such as:
- Arthur (TV Series)
- Sesame Street
- Martha Speaks
- The Electric Company
- Super Why?
- Villa Alegre (television program)
- 3-2-1 Contact
- Barney & Friends
- Shining Time Station
- Wimzie's House (responsible for p0wning every kids show on PBS, except Boohbah, Barney and Teletubbies)
- Dragon Tales
- Reading Rainbow
- Mister Rogers' Neighborhood
- Puzzle Place
- Maya & Miguel
- Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends
Criticism and controversy
Some within the urban drug scene on Sesame Street once came close to revealing the sordid truth, but the protagonists were ruthlessly and mercilessly silenced.
Big Bird, widely suspected of having started the rumours, was swiftly launched into geo-synchronous orbit at 87°W, where he continues to be used as a satellite to helplessly reflect PBS programming to free-to-air dishes nationwide.
Mr. Looper is also believed dead, last seen by Jimmy Hoffa in 1492. A smoking “unlooper” was found in a dumpster behind DreckTV headquarters but no fingerprints were recovered and the trail went cold.
No one else has dared to speak out.
Further controversy emerged when it was revealed that an Uncyclopedia article on PBS contained information from Wikipedia (the real Wikipedia), instead of original and witty material - you cheaters!