|Polytechnic University of Puerto Rico|
|Motto||We have plasmas.|
|Head||Sr. M Jackson Ph.D Ph.D Ph.D Ph.D|
|Location||TH, San Juan, Next to the poor people begging for money, Puerto Rico|
|Campus||Urban, 358 acres (144 km/h)|
|Mascot||"The Crazy Fat Kid On a buffer overflow, screaming: "ay Dios mio, quiero corned beef""|
“Where is the TBA class room??? ”
“What?!,Oooo I hate smurfs! Ill get you, Ill get all of you if its the last thing I ever do! He he he he haaa! ”
“Yo vi quieres fueron!!!, fueron unos enanos!!!! Ya me encabronaron!!!! ”
neversmoked weed on the campus. ”
“Hack the planet! ”
“Como se llama ese cabron que me ha dado clase por 3 años!? ”
<poll> Grade at physics class. A (at the first time) B (bah man that class suck!) C (wow how that score got there) D (I dint heard the hole story of black holes) F (damn it! not again!) </poll>
- 1 History
- 2 Parking
- 3 Mysteries at PUPR
- 4 Faculty
- 5 Famous Professor Quotes
- 6 Inglés Sin tu Abuela (New English Course)
- 7 Students
- 8 Student Activities
- 9 Famous graduated students
- 10 Songs Inspired On PUPR
- 11 Advanced Proyects at the PUPR (Capstone Class)
- 12 Laboratory Facilities
- 13 Sports
- 14 Student Artwork
University Possible In Puerto Rico (U.P.I.P.R.) is a primitive, for-some-millions institution founded in 1966(devil's year), offering only technical courses in Land Surveying and calligraphy until 1974, when PUPR became a degree granting institution offering "baccalaureate" (wtf??) degrees (B.S.L.S.) and (B.S.C.E.) (kinds of B.S. -see Bullshit)
As time passed more academic offerings were made, including "Science of Reggaeton Dance", "Science of Kitty Murder", "Engineering malpractice and you", including many others.
In 2003 it offered a Masters degree in Computer Engineering with concentration in Desk Fucking and in 2005 Computer Science About Searching and downloading Porn over the Internet.
And now recently offering a Master degree in Differential Homogeneous Equations and Physics 2, in order to achieve this you have to take the class for the 94th time in a row.
One course was banned in the 1687 meeting of the polytechnic Illuminati, that being Web Page Development. This may explain why this page sucks so much.
It is the only university in the world that has a Flood Simulator.
The PUPR is located in a floodable area where supports abundant fish and crustaceans that are also important for recreation and tourism. Also its a habitat for many speces of the threatened wildlife.
The University tower was cordoned off due to several and recurrent suicide attempts. Students were found to climb to the bell arrangment, scream curse words into the courtyard and leap to their deaths 7 stories bellow. Since its closing, these events have been reduced by more than 80%, though access is not completely limited. One inconclusive investigation reported sightings of ghosts in the tower who allegedly "...wanted you to jump."
It is also a known fact that the PUPR has the biggest campus in the universe, equivalent to all the disney parks around the world combined.
Most students are not able to find parking after 4am. Theories abound as to why this happens.. most agree that 99% of parking space is wasted because bad drivers and incompetent security personnel that let people from nearby "Hospital for the Retarded" (Departamento de Familia)park in university spots.
Mysteries at PUPR
“I see dead people ”
The building that houses the PUPR used to be Psychriatric Hospital(i'm not kidding!) and now is haunted by a couple of
friendly ghosts. The Ghost Busters visit the institution on a weekly basis but students still experience intermitent demonic possessions. It has been rumored that the ghosts can be scared away by playing the hit song "Rastrilleo"(I mean, who dead or alive wouldn't??).
Another mystery is the continually rising costs of the university. Every year there is a 23964% increase in registration fees. Registration forms and pay slips explain these fees as "parking access"(lol), "CTI technology fee" (what?) and "student activities". Most students agree LOLWTFBBQ.
The PUPR has the most talented faculty in Hato Rey well...um...second most (see Instituto de Banca). They love to give the most exiting and adventurous Power Point presentations. Some of them were prisoners during the Vietnam war (see Charón) and others seek revenge from Tito Puente, while others like to dance in the rain..naked. They are lean, mean ,fat-reducing machines and they like to wear glasses and hats to class.
We also have the most excellent faculty member called"Dr. Dr. Bueno Bueno Ph.D IN LMAOWTFBBQLOL". This so called "special" individual is a blessing to the University giving us the most instructed member of the comunity. His great wisdom is visible in his yellow (yellow, because they had like 50 years old) papers. If one or more of his yellow papers are missed, he automatically ends the class, because he has by magic an appointment with someone of the faculty.
Owner of a Ph. Bch. Byob, and a WTF in Colombian Clown College, he knows both how to use the Itunes program for the pc and how to bring coca to the continent. He give new meaning to the expression "Crazy Cracker".
Felix Nevarez, PhD (Candidate since 2001) aka Power Point or Kiko is a very smart professor, who's wisdom is visible like Bueno, Bueno, but in his case is visible in the right index finger. That finger has more muscles than even the Governator of California in his entire body in his primes. He's more than an expert clicking the computer using Power Point, not even Sonic the Hedgehog is faster than him. More than 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 clicks per minute. Probably he can beat the speed of light in a contest.
- Remi the clown (ATUL)
- Michael knight (Physics)
- Donald Duck (Spanish)
- Power Point (Advanced Programming)
- Richard Simmons (Circuit I)
- Gene Simmons (Socio Humanistic Studies)
- Pamela Anderson Lee Ph.D (Organic Chemistry)
- Mr. Bodyguard, Stone Cold or Nappa (Ethical Hacking)
- Steve Jobs (Management)
- Cowboy Roy (English)
- Al Gore (Internet Programming)
- Hugo Chavez (Ethics)
- Regis Philbin (Finance)
- Sponge Bob (Electronics)
- Mr Potato (Database)
- El Chaparro (microprocessors)
- Peru's National Soccer Team (Mechanical Engineering Faculty)
- Turey El Taino (Heat Transfer, Aerospace, Aerodynamics, Thermal Systems Laboratory)
- Tio Toto (COE Director)
Famous Professor Quotes
“In this next slide you can see... ”
“Estas son estraubeRRys, y estos son kiwis, óyeme bueno bueno, cómo se dice kiwi en español? ”
“Los otros dias.... ”
“All architects are women. ”
“Dude, where's my car??? ”
“There is no paper, internet or spoons ”
“If my 12th wife is falling at speed v(t)... ”
“Sencilloooo, KVL, KCL, Ley DE OHMMMMmmm, muy bienn muy biennn ”
“Metodo nodal es infalible, la malla, falla. ”
“Ujum, ujum, ustedes tienen que usar "passive san convenchon". ”
“ajaa, ajaaa proximamente haremos un concierto de reggaeton con las campanas como parte de un proyecto de capstone y tambien un concurso de la mas perra! ”
“Sí aja, cuando yo fui hacer mi doctorado en inglaterra, si aja. Yo era un gringo hablando inglés si aja. Y allá yo no entendía nada, esos ingleses hablan mal el inglés orale. Pero a la semana ya los entedía si aja. Pero siempre que se despendían decían "silla", y yo no entendia porque no decia "gud bai", si aja. Mira que brutos y que una silla es decir adios, que morones, si aja. ”
“Hijole, ahorita mismo les voy a dar un espetial asignation guey! ”
“Como sus pays tienen chavos, pues ustedes estan ahi perdiendo el tiempo y no les importa na'. Pues yo como ya estudié me quedo aquí tomandome esta rica Sprite, ganandome los chavos fácil. ”
“Ah si, estas serguro? Darías la VIDA??? ”
Inglés Sin tu Abuela (New English Course)
This course in given at the same time with your Microprocessor's class and Micro Interfacing's class at no cost by the great PhD^23 Román E. López.
- output = oput
- chip = ship
- asignación = asignation
- botón = bottom
- reach = recah
- dos = tow
- USB = yuesbi
- bluetooth = blutuf
- bootstrap = bus-estraf
- especial = espetial
- d-bug = d-book
- nintendo = nientindo
- walmart = gualmar
- mode = moud
- strobe = estró
- data bus = data vús
- write = ruai
- read = ruid
- iniciar = estal
- enable = enamble
- upload = apload
- download = danload
- CompUSA = compúsa
- debounce = dibons
- illegal = iligal
- stepper = estepel
- corregir = corrojir
- print function = prin funchon
- earth flat = plano de tierra
- alphanumeric = afanumeric
- gate = gatillo
- three = trece
Most students fall in the following categories
- Fags (architects)
- Corn Smokers
- Bed wetters
- Crack Dealers
IEEE - LOL WTF? Do they know it stands for Improvised Explosive Electronic Engineer!?!?
“It does? ”
hacking - noob hackers.
“I'll get the screwdriver. You get the magnets!... maybe the floor will work!! ”
“Smoke weed everyday! ”
Famous graduated students
- Tito "El Bambino"
- Tito Puente (RIP)
- Chuck Norris
- Rolandito (hmm..so that's why we they can't find him, he's a Hacker)
- Lindsay Lohan (maybe if I say it, it will actually happen)
- Kobbo aka La Comay
- YOUR MAMA!!!
- Victor Fajardo
- Eric Estrada (Fish & Chips actor)
- Aunt Jemima
- Uncle Ben
- Tito Kayak
- El negrito Bombon<-----Bembon????
- George W. Bush (Summa Cum Laude)^-1 Class of 66
- Hugo Chavez (Summa Cum Laude)^-1 Class of 66
Songs Inspired On PUPR
“Turn on the lights ”
“Who let the dogs out? ”
“Se vale to...to en este sandwich de salchicha ”
“Huele a peligro ”
Advanced Proyects at the PUPR (Capstone Class)
If smoking is a sport then we have the best facilities for it. And yeah we rule!!!!1!!11