Pantheism

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Pope Nim Chimpsky, spiritual leader of the Church of Pantheism

Pantheism is the worship of chimpanzees as deities. Believers in pantheism accept Darwinian theory that states that humans and chimps share a common ancestry but believe chimps are the pinnacle of ape evolution and not humans. They look upon chimpanzees with reverence and respect. Pantheism is not pansexuality, where chimps are the target of human sexual desires but many worshippers of pantheism become sexually aroused when exposed to chimpanzees. Pantheism has been around for over 5 million years when humans and chimps last shared a common ancestor. Early man would often worship the more culturally advanced Pan. Pantheism declined after the Neolithic because of creationist religions that threatened people with their lives if they didn't abadon their beliefs in more sensible religions like Darwinism and its offshoot Pantheism.

Neo-Pantheism[edit]

After the Darwinian revolution in the late 19th and early 20th century, Pantheism made a return to mainstream religions. It had been secretly continued even during its prohibition and both pantheists and pansexuals were now free to show their love and admiration for chimpanzees. One of the great pantheist revolutionaries was Jane Goodall who went out into the African jungle as a missionary to let chimpanzees know that we still worship them.

Famous Pantheists[edit]

Famous chimpanzees[edit]

Pandeism[edit]

Pandeism is a combination of Pantheism and Deism, to wit, the worship of chimpanzees who just ignore you.

See Also[edit]