Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis

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The name of this article is too long and cannot be memorized even by a team of highly intelligent alien brains.

Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis (pronounced pair-of-cookies-iodine-is-really-stinky-like-sacs-of-mucosis) is a type-1 imaginary disease, the "type-1" meaning that it can be spread through any way possible and in any condition. The origin of this disease can be traced back to two alchemists from Mexico, back in the year 1666. They were attempting to synthesize goregrindium and instead created the Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis disease. This disease soon spread throughout all of Mexico and across the Heavy metal underground. Evenuanto, and He Who Plays Noisy Electric Guitars.]] Detailed below is a timeline of the disease, from its origins to current.

  • 1666- The disease is created by two mysterious alchemists in Chalupa, Mexico. Their real names were unknown; they were simply referred to as He Who Sounds Like Angry Kitchen Sink and He Who Plays Noisy Electric Guitars. They were attempting to isolate the goregrindium isotope from the grindcore element by bashing their heads with rubber mallets coated in petroleum, but in the process were bombarded by heavy amounts of hawking radiation, and spawned the disease that was to later become known as Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis.
  • 1667- The disease infects the entire village of Chalupa, and begins to spread across Mexico.
  • 1668- The disease reaches a YMCA in Guatemala. It infects all sailors present. The sailors, unknowing that they've contracted the disease, sail to Venezuela.
  • 1670- The disease spreads like wildfire throughout South America via frog bites. Within half a year, the entire continent is infected. Primates that were present begin to perform unusual dances and make odd babbling sounds.
  • 1701- A handful of people start to contract the disease in Texas. No one bothers to notice.
  • 1801- People start to contract the disease in the southern states. No one bothers to notice.
  • 1919- Eventually, the disease has spread all across the United States, Europe, and most of Asia. Kanye West is quoted as saying "George Bush doesn't care about people with Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis."
  • 1920- Asia begins kitten huffing to combat the disease.
  • ????- Disease spreads all over the world. At this point, [[Your Mom

Facts[edit]

In this photo is a cluster of the disease ready to strike an unsuspecting victim.

So far, extensive research has revealed the following facts about Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis:

  1. The disease can be spread through any way in any condition
  2. It originated in Mexico
  3. The disease's name, "Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis", will never fit into a haiku
  4. It is somewhat linked to the metal underground
  5. The first celebrity to contract the disease was Batman

There are also different variants of the disease. Pictured to the left here is the Type1-PC-Batman strain. This specific strain causes the victim to go into an uncontrollable tribal dance and speaking in tongues. More specifically they are babbled words that use only the letters U, A, L, and E. Another well-known strain is Type1-PC-Ross. This strain is similar to Type1-PC-Batman, but makes a person sounds like their sewage drain when they are babbling tongues. See also Impaled's Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis Research Facility.

Symptoms[edit]

Here is a poor victim of the disease. He currently speaks in babbling tongues and moves around like a retard.

“Ualuealuealeuale ualuealuealeuale ualuealuealeuale ualuealuealeuale!!!!!”

~ Batman on the symptoms of Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis

Although not noticed when it first enters the body, Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis starts to exhibit several symptoms weeks after infection. Research by epidemiologists have related the disease to the following symptoms:

  • A severe lapse in I.Q.
  • Dancing like a drunk
  • Moving around like a Retard
  • Babbling in unintelligible tongues
  • Thinking you are Batman
  • Viewhacking several YTMNDs
  • Elephantiasis of the Balls

After years of infection, the body becomes open to opportunistic diseases, such as Decapitation Disease and Asperger's Syndrome.

Treatment[edit]

Through diligant work and research, scientists have managed to find ways to combat Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis. Some of these ways include the following:

  • If you see a person that has the disease, whack him/her with your Penis/Elongated Clitoris
  • Huff kittens. The Chinese have used this method to cure all sorts of diseases for thousands of years.
  • Sell your soul to Uncyclopedia. They can cure all your problems.
  • Attempt to synthesize more goregrindium. This is generally not a good idea because the radiation will most likely cause your head to go boom.
  • Join the Green party
  • Start a conspiracy theory about coffee mugs trying to take over the world through the establishment of monopolies. It was discovered that the disease is terrified of massive corporations when it was observed that Bill Gates is immune to infection after drinking coffee.

Alternative Names[edit]

The Institute of Disease Naming realized that nobody would want to say the word Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis over and over again. For this reason, they invented several alternative names that people could refer to when talking about Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis.

  • Paracocci
  • PC
  • Mucotoid
  • The Babbling Disease
  • YTMNDitis
  • That Disease With The Really Fucking Long Name

Disease Carriers[edit]

These famous people are currently known to still carry the disease. So far, no efforts have been made to cure them.

Strange Ocurrence[edit]

Some how the disease has managed to record 2 full length cds and design it's own unreadable logo (similar to that of the sub-elements of metal). It is presumed that this is part of it's plot to infect the world. The albums are, Fuck My Nigger Satyriasis and Nymphomania

Aromatica Germenexcitación en Orgías De Viscosa Y Amarga Putrefacción.

See Also[edit]