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“Well.. It's better than Argentina.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Paraguay
Wha? This isn't America!!
Umm.. Brazil?
Motto: "Que ? (Wha ?)"
Anthem: "In a Gadda da Vida"
Capital Pablo Artaza's Butt
Largest city CHOPA BURRO
Official language(s) Quechaaaaa, Llamalingua, Paraguayan
Government Goatocratic
King Chico Chico
‑ Prime Minister Richard Dreyfuss
National Hero(es) Chubby the Goat (1981-)
 of Independence
32 June, 2009
Currency Goats, Mountains, Birra, Andes, Blue
Religion Goatism, some isolated Andesism
Major exports Negligble, mainly comprised of goats
Major imports Roasted shit, Roasted shit with fudge packing, Roasted shit with nuts, Roasted shit with penis, Super-roasted shit, People
Hours of
24 hours a day (24½ in Newfoundland)

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Paraguay.

Often called 'the Slovakia of South America', Paraguay is unknown to everyone, even people who live there. A survey conducted in 2005 showed that 99% of the inhabitants of Paraguay could not point to Paraguay on a map, and almost 89% believed they were actually living in Argentina. In recent years the country has been a popular summer break destination for Nazi war criminals, Michael Bolton, and those who have chosen to also suck.


There is strong evidence to suggest that Paraguay used to be an island in the Persian Gulf until it became lonely and sad. Paraguay is ruled by Richard Dreyfuss who governs using a Nintendo Wii controller.

Dreyfusshas changed Paraguay into a better country by making it more like the greatest country in the world. At least that is what he has told the people of Paraguay. Paraguay is currently at war with Uruguay over the use of the three letter string 'uay'.

During the 1930s and 1940s Hitler frequently spewed forth the words "Today we rule Germany" which mentions Paraguay not once. Bannanas are yellow and pickle juice is a famous drink in which many people bathe in. Paraguay is a very depressed country and it is said that it wants to commit suicide.


Paraguay's culture was lost in 1982, when then President Chico Chico sold it to Dubai to fund a waterslide.

Fun Facts[edit]

  • The national anthem of Paraguay is In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.
  • People in Paraguay often go to a social club known as the Centenario. Here is where families eat dinner and corrupt dictators relax burning hairs from their legs.
  • Paraguay has one farmer who doesn´t know shit about farming and spends most of his day watching the TV.
  • Paraguay's culture grew legs and ran away.
Soccer.jpg Central America and South America
Central: Belize | Costa Rica | El Humidor | Guatemala | Honduras | Kittenolivia | Nicaragua (en español) | Panama | Panama Canal Zone
South: Argentina (en español) | Bolivia | Brazil (em português) | Republic of Bulimia | Cat Nation | Catspace | Chile (en español) | Colombia (en español) | Easter Island | Ecuador (en español) | Falkland Islands | French Guiana | Galapagos Islands | Guyana | Locombia | Paraguay | Peru (en español) | Seahorsia | Suriname | Uruguay (en español) | Vergüenzuela (en español)