Paris Égalité

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Emblem of the Paris Égalité, flanked by its team flags, le drapeau tricolor and le drapeau blanc.

The Paris Égalité is a Major League Bloodbath team based in Paris, France. They play in the “Grim” North Division of the Old World League.



The Paris Égalité began play as the Paris Mob (no relation to the Moscow franchise of the same name). In 1789, the Mob won a well-publized scrimmage against the Versailles-based Bourbon Kings. Soon after, France's MLB franchise was transferred from the Kings to the Mob. The club's name was changed to the Égalité after a series of protracted front-office disputes.

The Napoleonic Era[edit]

Affectionately known as the “Little Emperor,” Napoleon Bonaparte coached the team to many winning seasons from 1796 until 1815. Napoleon is credited by many historians as the inventor of the modern game, and the team was responsible for popularizing the sport across Europe, especially in Germany and Italy.

Napoleon’s teams typically performed well in the regular season, only to be defeated in the World Series. Napoleon was forced to retire after pitting the Paris Égalité against an all-star team in the 1813 series. Napoleon reemerged from retirement a season later to coach the 1815 team, only to be stopped at the end of the season by the arch-rival London Imperials.


Since Napolean's second retirement, the Paris Égalité has maintained a losing record in the Old World League—especially against their divisional rival, the Berlin Blitz. In response, the Égalité has culivated an image as the league’s “lovable losers,” treating their 1915 tie as a decisive victory.

After a decisive loss in the 1940 World Series, the Égalité was demoted to minor league status. The team played the 1941 to 1945 seasons as the Vichy Collaborators, a farm team of the Berlin Blitz. However, the Égalité’s devoted fanbase convinced MLB to grant Paris an expansion franchise and seat on the Security Council after Berlin was suspended from MLB play in 1949.

In the second half of the 20th Century, the Paris Égalité continued its dismal record. The Égalité stuggled against teams from its own farm system, including the expansion Vietnam Cong in 1954 and minor-league Algiers Berbers in 1962.

Current Status of the Team[edit]

Fans of the Paris Égalité look forward to a developing rivalry against the Washington Generals. The rivalry has not consisted of actual matches, but has mainly consisted of grumbling over Washington’s already full schedule.

Appearances in the World Series[edit]

World Series record: 1-8-1

Related Links[edit]