Paris Hilton (Person)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
No Wikipedia.png
Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Paris Hilton (Person). We are sorry they insist on being this lame.
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Alicia Keys?

Paris Hilton is a person who lives in Bilbo Spain. She has produced a number of pornographic videos, mostly involving her and many heads of cabbage.

She is widely consider to be skanky. In fact, a recent publication by the FBI found that if she turned and faced profile to you she would become invisible. By using the process of zero-plus-one-minus-negative-e it is found out that she is responsible for over 5 x 10^789 unsolved crimes; mostly committed to fund her passion for antique green positive ions.

Recent speculation has discovered that she is in fact not a person, but rather a cybernetic-collection of bean-poles, saw dust, and male sperm. In fact, her name is considered to be an acronym - however the guy at the pub, Jeff, was unable to figure out what it means.

Her intentions are clear - to work her way into the hearts and minds of the TV-watching people of the world, where she will be able to lay her eggs thus creating another generation of HILTONS.

She is currently involved in doing some evil with Russians, and litres of Mayonnaise.

She is accompanied at all times by her robotic dog, that functions as not only a portable high grade tactical nuclear weapon, but as a life raft and a home-away-from-home. When not in use it charges in her handbag that draws its power from the sadly deluded people that find her attractive.